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Problems caused by inadequate communication
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 322438" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>I just got a letter from the Department of Juvenile Justice director to follow up (basicly- to document) our previous phone converstaion. It wasn't nearly as promising as she made things sound when we talked- but of course, I'd figured that already after hearing from the CM. This letter made it sound like Department of Juvenile Justice facility staff would do their part to coordinate things, but it had to be left up to the PO and courts. Now, the PO had already told me that he had no control over when difficult child got released. This is just par for the course- no one really takes the bull by the horns and when I try to, it just causes resentment or some sort of back lash.</p><p></p><p>Then, she wrote that she had "mentioned that sometimes wards receive direct release" but that was not up to her. Clearly, she wrote that to CYA herself because she told me on the phone that she recommended it. She copied the PO, the CM, and the CM's supervisor so I guess all them are on the same page- which to me, leaves it like this: no one is going to do anything except say that the other party is in control of it and just point the finger at each other. I've seen this done by our county people so evidently, they are just taught that to keep parents off everyone's back and try to convince the parent that when things are messed up, it wasn't any particular person's fault and I guess this keeps parents working with them in most cases. You know- no one is the bad guy this way, in their minds.</p><p></p><p>I used to beliieve it really was that the left hand didn't know diddly about how things work in the right hand's world but I'm changing that opinion quickly. I was looking something up yesterday and found even more stuff that proves to me that when I was trying to get PO or someone to do something last year to help difficult child and me before he broke the law again, all these county people from different agencies acted like they couldn't do anything when in reality- they all knew what was going on. But because no one did anything, the judge is left with no option. Then, when I mentioned something about me being frustrated over stuff like this to the CM, she said "oh, judge's in that county are very harsh". It's not the first time I'm had the Department of Juvenile Justice/county employees try to twist my words like that either- when it is clearly them not picking up the ball and I say something about it, they try to make it sound like it's what the judge ordered.</p><p></p><p>The director wrote someething about "just because this can be done doesn't mean it's in either difficult child's or my best interest". Geesh....I can't control the fact that they have custody of difficult child, but they sure aren't in any position to determine what's in my best interest. What am I, 12yo? She said PO would be contacting me. I can't stand the thought of communicating with him anymore- it's all BS- obviously all they are going to do is explain for the hundredth time that the process is to go before difficult child's released or afterwards and here's how the paperwork stuff has to work.</p><p></p><p>I'm thinking more and more that difficult child will never make it home again before he's 18yo, but they are trying to make sure that they don't take responsibility for that happening.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 322438, member: 3699"] I just got a letter from the Department of Juvenile Justice director to follow up (basicly- to document) our previous phone converstaion. It wasn't nearly as promising as she made things sound when we talked- but of course, I'd figured that already after hearing from the CM. This letter made it sound like Department of Juvenile Justice facility staff would do their part to coordinate things, but it had to be left up to the PO and courts. Now, the PO had already told me that he had no control over when difficult child got released. This is just par for the course- no one really takes the bull by the horns and when I try to, it just causes resentment or some sort of back lash. Then, she wrote that she had "mentioned that sometimes wards receive direct release" but that was not up to her. Clearly, she wrote that to CYA herself because she told me on the phone that she recommended it. She copied the PO, the CM, and the CM's supervisor so I guess all them are on the same page- which to me, leaves it like this: no one is going to do anything except say that the other party is in control of it and just point the finger at each other. I've seen this done by our county people so evidently, they are just taught that to keep parents off everyone's back and try to convince the parent that when things are messed up, it wasn't any particular person's fault and I guess this keeps parents working with them in most cases. You know- no one is the bad guy this way, in their minds. I used to beliieve it really was that the left hand didn't know diddly about how things work in the right hand's world but I'm changing that opinion quickly. I was looking something up yesterday and found even more stuff that proves to me that when I was trying to get PO or someone to do something last year to help difficult child and me before he broke the law again, all these county people from different agencies acted like they couldn't do anything when in reality- they all knew what was going on. But because no one did anything, the judge is left with no option. Then, when I mentioned something about me being frustrated over stuff like this to the CM, she said "oh, judge's in that county are very harsh". It's not the first time I'm had the Department of Juvenile Justice/county employees try to twist my words like that either- when it is clearly them not picking up the ball and I say something about it, they try to make it sound like it's what the judge ordered. The director wrote someething about "just because this can be done doesn't mean it's in either difficult child's or my best interest". Geesh....I can't control the fact that they have custody of difficult child, but they sure aren't in any position to determine what's in my best interest. What am I, 12yo? She said PO would be contacting me. I can't stand the thought of communicating with him anymore- it's all BS- obviously all they are going to do is explain for the hundredth time that the process is to go before difficult child's released or afterwards and here's how the paperwork stuff has to work. I'm thinking more and more that difficult child will never make it home again before he's 18yo, but they are trying to make sure that they don't take responsibility for that happening. [/QUOTE]
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