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Protecting Ourselves from Adult difficult children
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<blockquote data-quote="Stress Bunny" data-source="post: 636876" data-attributes="member: 4855"><p>MWM, thanks for the info. We haven't yet checked into these sorts of resources, although Bubby is currently receiving teen social skills training (group sessions) twice per week through a local autism organization, and they are working with young adults for job placement, etc. We definitely need to contact the school and aging/disability resources as well.</p><p></p><p>2much, I don't have an official sociopath diagnosis. Of course, JT doesn't think he has any problems, and he is quite smitten with himself, so he would probably never seek out evaluation or treatment. But, I do believe he is on the sociopath spectrum, to the point that his behavior is quite detrimental to those around him.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I wonder how I'll be able to keep him away from Bubby, though. What if he still tries to get to him? With phones, computers, and other technology, not to mention the fact that Bubby will be an adult himself at some point, I worry what JT will do.</p><p></p><p>It sounds like you know firsthand just how serious a problem a sociopath in one's life is, and I am very sorry for that. It is so foreign to understand them. They lack empathy and conscience. How is it possible to have reciprocity in a relationship with such a selfish person? I understand what you're saying about feeling better researching sociopathy, as I have had that experience already as well. I need reinforcement though, so no doubt I'll need to continue to educate myself about it.</p><p></p><p>COM - Thank you so very much for the terrific emotional support.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I struggle with this. I wonder what I've done wrong, and I go over and over it in my mind, thinking if I had only done X or Y or Z that maybe things wouldn't have turned out this way. I blame myself for not helping JT bond better. Maybe I was more focused on his behavioral issues than on helping him bond. More about discipline than unconditional love. I don't know. But what if I caused this? How can I live with myself? These are the thoughts I go through every day.</p><p></p><p>Even though some people tell me that JT is still young and going through that young adult freedom phase, I have my doubts that it is just a phase. First, JT has always been this way, right from the start. He has always opposed us, even in elementary school. This is nothing new. It was like raising a teenager from age 2. Also, if he is sociopathic, there is no real effective treatment, and sociopaths don't usually seek out treatment either. There is some evidence that they mellow in mid-life.</p><p></p><p>Your post helps me because it validates my feelings. Otherwise, JT's gaslighting and constant drama cause me to doubt myself and this sad reality.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Stress Bunny, post: 636876, member: 4855"] MWM, thanks for the info. We haven't yet checked into these sorts of resources, although Bubby is currently receiving teen social skills training (group sessions) twice per week through a local autism organization, and they are working with young adults for job placement, etc. We definitely need to contact the school and aging/disability resources as well. 2much, I don't have an official sociopath diagnosis. Of course, JT doesn't think he has any problems, and he is quite smitten with himself, so he would probably never seek out evaluation or treatment. But, I do believe he is on the sociopath spectrum, to the point that his behavior is quite detrimental to those around him. I wonder how I'll be able to keep him away from Bubby, though. What if he still tries to get to him? With phones, computers, and other technology, not to mention the fact that Bubby will be an adult himself at some point, I worry what JT will do. It sounds like you know firsthand just how serious a problem a sociopath in one's life is, and I am very sorry for that. It is so foreign to understand them. They lack empathy and conscience. How is it possible to have reciprocity in a relationship with such a selfish person? I understand what you're saying about feeling better researching sociopathy, as I have had that experience already as well. I need reinforcement though, so no doubt I'll need to continue to educate myself about it. COM - Thank you so very much for the terrific emotional support. I struggle with this. I wonder what I've done wrong, and I go over and over it in my mind, thinking if I had only done X or Y or Z that maybe things wouldn't have turned out this way. I blame myself for not helping JT bond better. Maybe I was more focused on his behavioral issues than on helping him bond. More about discipline than unconditional love. I don't know. But what if I caused this? How can I live with myself? These are the thoughts I go through every day. Even though some people tell me that JT is still young and going through that young adult freedom phase, I have my doubts that it is just a phase. First, JT has always been this way, right from the start. He has always opposed us, even in elementary school. This is nothing new. It was like raising a teenager from age 2. Also, if he is sociopathic, there is no real effective treatment, and sociopaths don't usually seek out treatment either. There is some evidence that they mellow in mid-life. Your post helps me because it validates my feelings. Otherwise, JT's gaslighting and constant drama cause me to doubt myself and this sad reality. [/QUOTE]
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