Please help. Today has been one of those hard difficult child days for me. I recently had knee surgery, and after physical therapy, I stopped in at work to pick up some things when my work phone rang. It was JT. He said he needed advice since he'd just been run over by a car in his work parking lot. Of course he didn't initially mention that it was his foot only that had been run over or that he was wearing steel toed boots. He sounded fine and said he was going to the ER (yet again, as he goes there regularly). He wanted advice on how to sue the driver for his medical bills and anticipated lost wages. Whatever. I suspect he wants paid time off of work to go hunting and prescription pain medications AGAIN. He does stuff like this regularly. I don't know how he keeps his job. He probably won't have it much longer. This isn't my main issue today. It's the whole ball of wax. Since I last posted, I learned that JT showed up at his grandparents' with a big beer keg in his truck. He's 20, underage. His elderly neighbor is upset with the loud parties he has. He is living with his 5th girlfriend over this past year. He continues to use people by trying to get them to give him things. Since close family have caught on, he is reaching deeper to distant relatives and friends. He sent me a text making a joke about the stupidity of learning competencies for students ( hubby and I are both teachers) and insulting the party he knows we usually vote for. JT also text messaged me details about a deer he tried to bow hunt, knowing how I love animals and don't want to hear details about killing them. He missed the deer, but of course, it wasn't his fault, it was the fault of his bow! He never bothered to call or see me after my surgery. No surprise. He only cares about himself. JT has something wrong with him. He is completely oppositional defiant, adhd, and I believe, sociopathic as well. He gets a kick out of hurting us. I have read books about sociopaths, and it was very disturbing to recognize JT in them. He isn't satisfied to just live his disgusting lifestyle. No, he must do so and then tell everyone in the family all the details he knows will hurt. He actually had the audacity to tell his grandfather that a beer once in a while wouldn't hurt him (grandfather), knowing his Grandpa struggled with alcoholism for years. He texts us when he is drunk to make sure we know he is drinking. I have begged him not to mix pain medications with alcohol, but it was a mistake to reveal that concern to him. He used it to scare me every chance he got after that. Then he wonders why we don't want him around our younger boy. He is actually insulted and doesn't understand why we don't let Bubby go with him (JT) hunting or fishing unsupervised. I realize there is nothing more I can do for JT. We have set decent boundaries with him except possibly with his thoughtless texts. But now that I see him for who he is - a conscience - lacking, drug/alcohol abusing freak who delights in making us miserable, I want to focus on protecting ourselves, particularly our younger son. I'm worried sick that JT will take Bubby, who is on the autism spectrum and gullible, right down with him. He knows that would destroy us. All sorts of things are running through my mind about how to protect ourselves, such as moving far away from him, getting guardianship of Bubby as an adult, getting a restraining order, cutting JT out of our will and preventing him from manipulating Bubby financially someday, and cutting off all contact. I am hoping JT ends up in prison before Bubby graduates. Isn't that awful? How nuts is that? But then we'd be protected from him. JT turns 21 next month, and I wonder if his drinking will escalate. I am so ashamed of JT's behavior. We tried so hard. I have virtually no hope at all for him, and no illusions about whom he has become. He continues to lie and manipulate and use people. He doesn't seem aware that people do not view him positively. In fact, he really believes he is superior to others and that others are very impressed with him. Ridiculous! There is no way to penetrate his delusions. The truth is that I feel very ashamed of what he's doing. I don't know how to feel good. I thought when he moved out that I would feel so much better, but I don't. Please help. I'm despairing about the future, afraid we'll lose our other son as well. I also wonder how we can enjoy our life and future retirement years and family gatherings with an ungrateful, sociopathic adult son around. I'm so sad that this is how things turned out and that there is absolutely nothing I can do to fix any of it. My heart is broken.