Psychological testing results are in

[JJJ]

Kanga had a FSIQ of 84 but she had a 26pt difference between her lowest and highest section so her FSIQ isn't fully valid. She is borderline for all language areas and average for non verbal areas.

They ruled out Bipolar and stayed with Major Depression with Psychotic Features and added Reading Disorder, Expressive Language Disorder, Aggression, Parent-Child Conflict (not full Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) but huge intimacy issues), and a few others I can't remember.

The recommendations were:

1. continue therapy (no brainer)

2. find positive African-American female role model (she will start getting respite 1 evening per week; while I am happy that they are going to give us respite with a worker that the therapist really likes, it concerns me that the worker not attempt to "mother" her because she is already so mixed up as to what a mother is)

3. see pediatrician re: injuries (this one I don't get as her injuries took place prior to 3 years old - these are 9 year old static injuries???)

4. therapuetic day school (yikes! she gave me the name of a few, I knew about all but one and the new one is in its 2nd year and it seems is doing good work, and is down the street about 3 miles from us; I hope to go observe there tomorrow)

5. have her tested more throughly for Learning Disability (LD) (um, done many times and again last month)

6. have her receive hygenie training (um, she knows how to clean herself but on bad days she just doesn't care)

7. maintain psychiatrist appointments and continue to re-evaluate medications

8. Mom gets individual therapy and parenting skills training (this one annoyed me as I have done absolutely everything they have suggested and some of it works and some of it backfires completely; therapist said that it is not a knock on my parenting but an acknowledgement of how difficult Kanga is to raise and a concern that as the others hit puberty I'll have to suffer through this with each of them) I asked who was going to pay for this since I do not have mental health insurance, no answer to that other than they might start a parent group since I am part of a growing group of parents that they have recommended this to and there aren't places to send us. Course, why doesn't Dad have to go?????

Lots of talk about Kanga's low self-esteem, sense of inadequacy, fear of emotional closeness, and continued suicide risk. A brief mention of accepting that Kanga should head down a vocational path in HS rather than a college path - sorry not setting the bar that low when Kanga WANTS to go to college and become a teacher.

Of course the first 3 pages of the report - the history part - I red inked everywhere as there were so many errors I could scream. She is retyping the report and giving it to me Thursday.

While I agreed with 95% of the report it was still weird to see it in print. It made me very sad.

 

[Loris]

I am glad you got this done and they will continue to evaluate. I'm just sorry that it's nessessary. I do understand about the parenting classes. I am now taking my 14th class. I swear they will kick me out because I can't keep my mouth shut. I hope it gets better for you.

 

[Wiped Out]

JJJ,
I know even when you agree with a report it can be hard to see things in writing. Hugs.

 

[smallworld]

JJJ, was this a psychologist or psychiatrist who evaluated Kanga and wrote the report? FWIW, only a psychiatrist can diagnose or rule out bipolar disorder. From what I understand from our psychiatrists, it is almost impossible to definitively diagnosis BiPolar (BP) until late adolescence/early adulthood.

My kids have dxes of MDD with a rule-out on BiPolar (BP), which means the psychiatrists are considering BiPolar (BP) as a diagnosis but they do not meet full DMS-IV criteria at this point to make a definitive diagnosis. For the record, however, my difficult children are being treated with mood stabilizers as if they have BiPolar (BP). Their main symptom is depression, but they flip out on SSRIs. They are improving on mood stabilizers.

 

[Janna]

JJJ,

I know how you feel. Dylan's neuropsychologist report put him in the MR level for alot of things. Although I didn't particulary agree with it, it really hurt my feelings and upset me to know someone thought he was at that level.

It sounds like there's a do-able plan in place. The theraputic day treatment is probably a really good idea. Smaller, more structured environments seem to really do well for our kiddos. Dylan's done really well in the smaller, Emotional Support classroom of 8 kids and 2 teachers. Big difference.

As for the parenting stuff, yeah, I'd get offended too, but I understand why they recommend it. These kids are certainly not typical.

Hugs to you,

Janna

 

[kris]

<span style="color: #990000">well other than the hx errors it sounds like the evaluation was good.

back in the day ~~~ when i fostered ~~~ one of my kids was difficult in the extreme. a parenting class was recommended. dutifully i went...the school CM also atteneded. i kept telling the *instructor* (a therapist from the hospital clinic)..."yes, did that, didn't work". "nope, i explain that & two minutes later it's in the wind." he kept insisting i must not be doing it right. at the second class the CM looked at him & told him to lay off me. she has my child in her class & every word i was saying was 100% true (i didn't know at the time she had Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) & had huge memory issues). i suspect you will end up being more of a resource in the class than the teacher.

kris </span>

 

[Fran]

<span style='font-size: 11pt'>JJJ, I still feel my stomach drop when I see results on paper. You always hope that it's not as bad as you suspect but it's really in your face when it's written.
I understand the offense when someone suggests parenting class but think of it as parenting support class. Not that you aren't doing things by the book but to help you problem solve along the way.
The testing gives measurable results but it is not the whole child or the whole picture. I always thought it was a jumping off point. If difficult child wants to be a teacher then go with it. Lots of people who were not great students achieved their goals.

Hope this offers some new ideas but at least it's a plan. Many of us don't get one of those or it's so ridiculous that no one can follow through.
One step forward even if it doesn't feel that way. </span>

 

[wakeupcall]

I agree that it feels like a slap in the face every time you see your child's diagnosis (of some sort) in black and white. It's never anything you didn't know, but just to see it hurts a lot. I always have to stand back up and dust myself off to get on with the day. FWIW, a good cry does wonders to get some of it off your chest. That being said, we continue to have to be warrior moms (where are the warrior dads?) and I never can see an end to it. My difficult child (11) didn't want me to leave while he was at baseball practice (1 hour)!! I thought we'd progressed a little with his separation anxiety. (NOT!) Things like this are NOT understood even by a doctor, unless they live it. I'm so sorry you go through this...

 

[JJJ]

Thanks all. As I was sleepless last night I finally remembered that as a foster-adopt parent I qualify for free parenting classes through the State. I know they have some that specialize in transracial parenting and attachment parenting.

Kanga and I decided that we are just going to drop by the school unannounced. Even if we can't get a full tour I hope to get a feel for the atmosphere.

I also decided that we are going to make a Lifebook from Kanga's point of view. Maybe it will help her process everything that happened to her.

And the highlight of the day....husband is home from Florida!!!!!!!