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<blockquote data-quote="Ropefree" data-source="post: 244015" data-attributes="member: 6271"><p>Daisylover: Boundaries...when times are hard dead ends are helpful. No is a direction.</p><p>TAking down time for you is important. And that includes letting others find their way and developing their own inner mother of invention. </p><p> Being in dire straights and needing love and support is part of being connected. That this woman needs money (its only paper...ha, ha) is true and as a person she knows and cares about it is ok, isn't it, that she does have others who know that she is in this situation and can talk? That is all you can do is listen. And then only when you have the time and the energy and the desire to do so.</p><p> If her kids are school age then she has time during the day to keep seeking help for her family. Get into a shelter when space is available and a transsition program for homeless. This moment maybe the one that motivates her to secure what is available and create a stable basis for her family. </p><p> As for the behavior of a fourty year old man....do not get me started. A man who lacks the enthusiasm to house his own children is the plague we are facing everywhere we look on this planet. Usually they blame the mother, the x. Here a man who has the wife with him under these conditions .</p><p> Is her health perhaps in part a direct result of her loyalty to this man? i wonder.</p><p> Daisylover, among my support group such as it is we mothers are overloaded. What we do is lend our time and attention to each other to keep the kids safe and to join forses to save money on gas, or get through the times when only one of us has a car that is running and insured and safe and legal to drive. </p><p> If you want to help her maybe look up her area on the internet and start making contact with the groups and adgencies that are available to learn what is going on there and near by. Perhaps you will help by getting an idea and oppertunity that she has not discovered on her own.</p><p> I know some of what you are describing. One of the first things a person who is in a housing program after homeless learns is not to take on the problems of the others. If you know you have enough on your plate, then that is all there is to know or say. I love you. Thanks for calling. You are in my prayers. hug the children and tell them I love them very much. Stay in touch. </p><p> What I am going to do to rescue me is take a shower and mail a couple things with the money I have saved and scrimpt so that I can send my Mom a gift I made her. Things are so tight these days for so many families. Be gentle with yourself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ropefree, post: 244015, member: 6271"] Daisylover: Boundaries...when times are hard dead ends are helpful. No is a direction. TAking down time for you is important. And that includes letting others find their way and developing their own inner mother of invention. Being in dire straights and needing love and support is part of being connected. That this woman needs money (its only paper...ha, ha) is true and as a person she knows and cares about it is ok, isn't it, that she does have others who know that she is in this situation and can talk? That is all you can do is listen. And then only when you have the time and the energy and the desire to do so. If her kids are school age then she has time during the day to keep seeking help for her family. Get into a shelter when space is available and a transsition program for homeless. This moment maybe the one that motivates her to secure what is available and create a stable basis for her family. As for the behavior of a fourty year old man....do not get me started. A man who lacks the enthusiasm to house his own children is the plague we are facing everywhere we look on this planet. Usually they blame the mother, the x. Here a man who has the wife with him under these conditions . Is her health perhaps in part a direct result of her loyalty to this man? i wonder. Daisylover, among my support group such as it is we mothers are overloaded. What we do is lend our time and attention to each other to keep the kids safe and to join forses to save money on gas, or get through the times when only one of us has a car that is running and insured and safe and legal to drive. If you want to help her maybe look up her area on the internet and start making contact with the groups and adgencies that are available to learn what is going on there and near by. Perhaps you will help by getting an idea and oppertunity that she has not discovered on her own. I know some of what you are describing. One of the first things a person who is in a housing program after homeless learns is not to take on the problems of the others. If you know you have enough on your plate, then that is all there is to know or say. I love you. Thanks for calling. You are in my prayers. hug the children and tell them I love them very much. Stay in touch. What I am going to do to rescue me is take a shower and mail a couple things with the money I have saved and scrimpt so that I can send my Mom a gift I made her. Things are so tight these days for so many families. Be gentle with yourself. [/QUOTE]
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