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General Parenting
Punishment from the school
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 571148" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>ksm this surely has been a shock to you and I truly understand that you must be gobsmacked. on the other hand, if you don't mind unrequested advice from an elder, you really have no choice but to "man up" and let the authorities have the authority. This is a crossroads moment for your daughter. How you react will honestly effect her method of coping. I wish I didn't know what I was talking about but honestly I am terrible at accepting authority figures who often seem to be complete losers...BUT...if you question their authority, or their intelligence or their right to influence the future of the kids it will establish a pattern that your difficult child will follow in the future.. This is an important weekend. Bite your tongue. (Yes, I understand you are scared and likely crying but don't show it!) </p><p></p><p>difficult child can learn right now OR she can learn later when it is the police OR she can learn later when it is a boss. She messed up. She is not in the position of power. You and your military husband know that power determines outcomes. I have "issues" with power. But if she feels she has been unrightly punished it will make her a victim and SHE made the choice. Let her own it. If you are lucky SHE will learn an ugly big lesson about life. Parents can't save you. If she wants to be the boss of herself she has to make a plan, get fully educated (even if she has to work her own way through college) and set goals that have her primary attention.</p><p></p><p>I am sending prayers that you can do it. I am sending prayers that she can do it. I tried and I failed and my difficult child did not ever regain his confidence. No, it was not the same circumstances but the same moral lesson. Hugs DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 571148, member: 35"] ksm this surely has been a shock to you and I truly understand that you must be gobsmacked. on the other hand, if you don't mind unrequested advice from an elder, you really have no choice but to "man up" and let the authorities have the authority. This is a crossroads moment for your daughter. How you react will honestly effect her method of coping. I wish I didn't know what I was talking about but honestly I am terrible at accepting authority figures who often seem to be complete losers...BUT...if you question their authority, or their intelligence or their right to influence the future of the kids it will establish a pattern that your difficult child will follow in the future.. This is an important weekend. Bite your tongue. (Yes, I understand you are scared and likely crying but don't show it!) difficult child can learn right now OR she can learn later when it is the police OR she can learn later when it is a boss. She messed up. She is not in the position of power. You and your military husband know that power determines outcomes. I have "issues" with power. But if she feels she has been unrightly punished it will make her a victim and SHE made the choice. Let her own it. If you are lucky SHE will learn an ugly big lesson about life. Parents can't save you. If she wants to be the boss of herself she has to make a plan, get fully educated (even if she has to work her own way through college) and set goals that have her primary attention. I am sending prayers that you can do it. I am sending prayers that she can do it. I tried and I failed and my difficult child did not ever regain his confidence. No, it was not the same circumstances but the same moral lesson. Hugs DDD [/QUOTE]
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