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The Watercooler
Purina Dog Food Diet
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 233504" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><strong><span style="color: #007f40"><span style="font-family: 'Papyrus'">Yesterday I was at Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet Angel the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had...an elephant? </span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="color: #007f40"><span style="font-family: 'Papyrus'">So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a </span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: #007f40"><span style="font-family: 'Papyrus'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Papyrus'">dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd</span></strong></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Papyrus'"> <span style="color: #007f40">lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. </span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: #007f40"><span style="font-family: 'Papyrus'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #007f40"><span style="font-family: 'Papyrus'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #007f40"><span style="font-family: 'Papyrus'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #007f40"><span style="font-family: 'Papyrus'">I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and</span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Papyrus'"> <span style="color: #007f40">simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)</span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="color: #007f40"><span style="font-family: 'Papyrus'">Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's @$$ and a car hit us both. </span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="color: #007f40"><span style="font-family: 'Papyrus'">I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.</span></span></strong> </p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="color: #007f40"><span style="font-family: 'Papyrus'">Better watch what you ask retired people, they have all the time in the world </span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: #007f40"><span style="font-family: 'Papyrus'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #007f40"><span style="font-family: 'Papyrus'"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Papyrus'">to think of crazy things to say!</span></strong></span></span></strong></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 233504, member: 2211"] [B][COLOR=#007f40][FONT=Papyrus]Yesterday I was at Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet Angel the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had...an elephant? [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][FONT=Papyrus][/FONT][/B] [B][COLOR=navy][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#007f40][FONT=Papyrus]So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#007f40][FONT=Papyrus][B][FONT=Papyrus]dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd[/FONT][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][FONT=Papyrus][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][COLOR=#007f40]lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][COLOR=#007f40][FONT=Papyrus] [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][FONT=Papyrus][/FONT][/B] [B][COLOR=#007f40][FONT=Papyrus]I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][FONT=Papyrus][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][COLOR=#007f40]simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][COLOR=navy][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#007f40][FONT=Papyrus]Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's @$$ and a car hit us both. [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][FONT=Papyrus][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Papyrus][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][COLOR=#007f40][FONT=Papyrus]I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][FONT=Papyrus][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][COLOR=navy][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#007f40][FONT=Papyrus]Better watch what you ask retired people, they have all the time in the world [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#007f40][FONT=Papyrus] [B][FONT=Papyrus]to think of crazy things to say![/FONT][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#004040][FONT=Papyrus][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [/QUOTE]
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