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Pushed over by edge...by me :(
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 259396" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I'm sorry for your pain and your son's. He sounds very sick. </p><p></p><p>I'm not sure who you are, but I think you're the one with the disabled son whom you wanted to toss out because of his apathy. I have a mental illness. Some days I couldn't get out of bed or concentrate to work. Unlike kids who are drug addicts, I do not recommend throwing these kids to the wind just because they CAN'T work (I emphasize too sick, disabled, etc). Your son isn't a bad person, he is ill. If you can not stand to live with him, then I again recommend getting social services involved so that he can live in a group home or with assisted living. It sounds like he is suicidal and that everyone agrees he's not BAD, but he's not all there and needs help--he should have caregivers with him. This is NOT a child I would throw out of my house, whether he worked or not. I would not LET him leave until I had alternative living arrangements that seemed safe in place. And I'm a hard one on drug addicts--but this is a totally different thing. This child is a lot like me. I didn't do drugs but had severe moodswings and learning disabilities and my parents threatened to throw me out at 18 because I couldn't keep a job. I panicked and got married to husband from hell because I knew I didn't have what it takes to make it "out there." If I actually would have been thrown out, I would have either killed myself or been killed. Hate to be blunt. I was mentally ill NOT A BAD PERSON. And nobody helped me, but back then they didn't have the assisted living arrangements they have now either. I would never throw my autistic son in the streets either. We'll help him get his life together first then find somewhere appropriate for him to work and live, but it wouldn't cross my mind to make him leave our home. He's not capable of fending for himself and he is not a drug addict. </p><p>I don't know what others will say. I am ademant about this particular child NOT benefitting from being tossed out and my mind won't change no matter what anyone says because I know the difference between deliberately screwing up your life with drugs (drug addicts NEED tough love) and to be intristically unable to fend for yourself and/or even work. And my steadfast answer is to work with him to find him an appropriate living situation. They can help him find a job that he is able to do. I don't care how smart he is. With all those medications slowing him down and his moodswings, he may have to take a low level job and collec disability. You can't treat him like he's just your regular defiant kid who is trying to get away with sloughing off. This is JMO, but I'm very strong in how I feel.</p><p>I will be very embarassed if I have the wrong person...lol.</p><p>I wish you and your son well--and hope you call social services to get him some appropriate help for a young adult with his challenges. Make sure he will get rides or cheap cab fare to his mental health appointments too. Good luck!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 259396, member: 1550"] I'm sorry for your pain and your son's. He sounds very sick. I'm not sure who you are, but I think you're the one with the disabled son whom you wanted to toss out because of his apathy. I have a mental illness. Some days I couldn't get out of bed or concentrate to work. Unlike kids who are drug addicts, I do not recommend throwing these kids to the wind just because they CAN'T work (I emphasize too sick, disabled, etc). Your son isn't a bad person, he is ill. If you can not stand to live with him, then I again recommend getting social services involved so that he can live in a group home or with assisted living. It sounds like he is suicidal and that everyone agrees he's not BAD, but he's not all there and needs help--he should have caregivers with him. This is NOT a child I would throw out of my house, whether he worked or not. I would not LET him leave until I had alternative living arrangements that seemed safe in place. And I'm a hard one on drug addicts--but this is a totally different thing. This child is a lot like me. I didn't do drugs but had severe moodswings and learning disabilities and my parents threatened to throw me out at 18 because I couldn't keep a job. I panicked and got married to husband from hell because I knew I didn't have what it takes to make it "out there." If I actually would have been thrown out, I would have either killed myself or been killed. Hate to be blunt. I was mentally ill NOT A BAD PERSON. And nobody helped me, but back then they didn't have the assisted living arrangements they have now either. I would never throw my autistic son in the streets either. We'll help him get his life together first then find somewhere appropriate for him to work and live, but it wouldn't cross my mind to make him leave our home. He's not capable of fending for himself and he is not a drug addict. I don't know what others will say. I am ademant about this particular child NOT benefitting from being tossed out and my mind won't change no matter what anyone says because I know the difference between deliberately screwing up your life with drugs (drug addicts NEED tough love) and to be intristically unable to fend for yourself and/or even work. And my steadfast answer is to work with him to find him an appropriate living situation. They can help him find a job that he is able to do. I don't care how smart he is. With all those medications slowing him down and his moodswings, he may have to take a low level job and collec disability. You can't treat him like he's just your regular defiant kid who is trying to get away with sloughing off. This is JMO, but I'm very strong in how I feel. I will be very embarassed if I have the wrong person...lol. I wish you and your son well--and hope you call social services to get him some appropriate help for a young adult with his challenges. Make sure he will get rides or cheap cab fare to his mental health appointments too. Good luck! [/QUOTE]
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