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Putting 12 yo difficult child into Hospital
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<blockquote data-quote="recovering doormat" data-source="post: 275903" data-attributes="member: 5941"><p>wow. a lot of your story coincides with mine, except I was married to my son's father at the time (divorced after 19 yrs of marriage).</p><p> </p><p>We cried so hard the first time we had him hospitalized at age 9 (four days before Christmas) but we were at the point that we couldn't help him at home anymore. Our boy suffered from severe anxiety and ODD to the point where he wouldnt' go to school anymore and was threatening me with sharp objects and punching and kicking me. The admittng doctor at this psychiatric hospital told us that children his age weren't usually traumatized by being admitted to the hospital, and indeed, once he got used to it he loved the structure; the only problem was, as you've found out, managed care makes it impossible for a person to really be helped by their first hospitalization: it usually takes several, because of the short stays. </p><p> </p><p>I would call the hospital and ask to speak to your stepson's inpatient therapist and psychiatrist: the therapist to tell him what you know of his behavior at home, that his dad might not know about or might not want to have mentioned, and the MD to ask if Lexapro is the right medication for him. From my past experience with two difficult child's, nailing down the right medications is very time consuming and tricky. You have to be sure the child is actually ingesting the medications. I used to keep a diary of my son's moods and behavior to see how the medications were affecting him. His psychiatrists thought it was a very helpful tool.</p><p> </p><p>I am sorry about the hard feelings between you and husband. It's very good that you are both seeing a marriage counselor. My ex didn't beleive in therapy, he thought it was a luxury for me like getting my nails done, and thought that he knew best about everything. I tried to do marital therapy by myself and it didn't work.</p><p> </p><p> You're goingto have to tune out the gossip and chatter going on about you and your kids amongst their teachers and other parents. We can't control what other people say about us, and I believe that the Great American Pastime isn't baseball, it's criticizing other people's parenting skills. Everybody does it. We got so much help from our son's elementary and middle school principals, social workers and guidance counselors, I can't imagine what we would have done without them. Besides, they have to know because if the child spends a certain number of days inpatient they ahve to have contact with the school district to make sure they don't fall behind.</p><p> </p><p>You certainly have your hands full. It's good that you are expressive and eloquent and can get this turmoil off your chest and into a forum of like-minded people. Everyone here can relate to some aspect of your struggle.</p><p> </p><p>I found that doing my Lamaze deep breathing helped me when I felt like I was going to explode from anger and frustration.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recovering doormat, post: 275903, member: 5941"] wow. a lot of your story coincides with mine, except I was married to my son's father at the time (divorced after 19 yrs of marriage). We cried so hard the first time we had him hospitalized at age 9 (four days before Christmas) but we were at the point that we couldn't help him at home anymore. Our boy suffered from severe anxiety and ODD to the point where he wouldnt' go to school anymore and was threatening me with sharp objects and punching and kicking me. The admittng doctor at this psychiatric hospital told us that children his age weren't usually traumatized by being admitted to the hospital, and indeed, once he got used to it he loved the structure; the only problem was, as you've found out, managed care makes it impossible for a person to really be helped by their first hospitalization: it usually takes several, because of the short stays. I would call the hospital and ask to speak to your stepson's inpatient therapist and psychiatrist: the therapist to tell him what you know of his behavior at home, that his dad might not know about or might not want to have mentioned, and the MD to ask if Lexapro is the right medication for him. From my past experience with two difficult child's, nailing down the right medications is very time consuming and tricky. You have to be sure the child is actually ingesting the medications. I used to keep a diary of my son's moods and behavior to see how the medications were affecting him. His psychiatrists thought it was a very helpful tool. I am sorry about the hard feelings between you and husband. It's very good that you are both seeing a marriage counselor. My ex didn't beleive in therapy, he thought it was a luxury for me like getting my nails done, and thought that he knew best about everything. I tried to do marital therapy by myself and it didn't work. You're goingto have to tune out the gossip and chatter going on about you and your kids amongst their teachers and other parents. We can't control what other people say about us, and I believe that the Great American Pastime isn't baseball, it's criticizing other people's parenting skills. Everybody does it. We got so much help from our son's elementary and middle school principals, social workers and guidance counselors, I can't imagine what we would have done without them. Besides, they have to know because if the child spends a certain number of days inpatient they ahve to have contact with the school district to make sure they don't fall behind. You certainly have your hands full. It's good that you are expressive and eloquent and can get this turmoil off your chest and into a forum of like-minded people. Everyone here can relate to some aspect of your struggle. I found that doing my Lamaze deep breathing helped me when I felt like I was going to explode from anger and frustration. [/QUOTE]
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