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question about enabling behavior
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<blockquote data-quote="Giselle" data-source="post: 597579" data-attributes="member: 7525"><p>To extend it a little...one thing I've noticed even with non-difficult child's - it is "normal" in our culture to throw a certain amount of tantrums, act out, be whiny and entitled, etc. Sometimes I see easy child's having this behavior, and I think, "wow, I would NEVER have been able to act like that as a child." It just wouldn't have been catered to - no emotional payoff at all, and quite possibly a dangerous reaction (towards me) from my folks. Obviously that was a terrible way to grow up and I don't emulate it at all, but I wonder, with both easy child's and difficult child's, how much our tolerance of behavior enables it. And then it becomes, if they don't HAVE TO behave better, they may not choose to, even if they could.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Giselle, post: 597579, member: 7525"] To extend it a little...one thing I've noticed even with non-difficult child's - it is "normal" in our culture to throw a certain amount of tantrums, act out, be whiny and entitled, etc. Sometimes I see easy child's having this behavior, and I think, "wow, I would NEVER have been able to act like that as a child." It just wouldn't have been catered to - no emotional payoff at all, and quite possibly a dangerous reaction (towards me) from my folks. Obviously that was a terrible way to grow up and I don't emulate it at all, but I wonder, with both easy child's and difficult child's, how much our tolerance of behavior enables it. And then it becomes, if they don't HAVE TO behave better, they may not choose to, even if they could. [/QUOTE]
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