Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Question for adoptive parents
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 481829" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>All of my adopted kids tell me, now that they are older, than being adopted affected them a lot. I understand it because it I was adopted it would drive me crazy not knowing who I looked like or all the whys. I tried to share what was age appropriate at the time, but always told the truth. The older kids know everything I have and, if necessary, I tried to find out more, including trying to find the birthmother (they seemed a lot more interested in her than birthfather). I did find one birthmother. </p><p></p><p>I adopted two kids from cultures that do not approve of out-of-wedlock children (especilaly girls) and told both of those kids very early on that their birthmother didn't really have a choice, considering the way things were in their country on birth. I explained it was not like it is here and their birthmothers really had no choice or else it would have been very difficult, if not impossible, for both of them. My son, who was adopted at six, never really stopped looking for his birthfamily and he found them (this was after I had found his birthmother when he was young). So he had an address. I don't know if he ever saw them or not because he no longer communicates with us, but I have seen his birthmother and half-sibs on his Facebook Friends list. My Korean daughter is very accepting and knows that if she wishes to search for her birthmother she has my blessing and I will help any way I can. She has not done it yet, but, like almost all adopted kids, she wonders about it. </p><p></p><p>Jumper is the child closest to me and we have had long talks. She believes the being adopted is a 'special need" because you are different and always have questions. She was very lucky that she was able to communicte, if briefly, with both of her birthparents and that she knows for a fact that they cared about her. Of all my kids, my biological child included, she is my best adjusted. </p><p></p><p>Sometimes, when they are very young, all we can do is hold them. I would also promise to do everything in my power to help find the birthmother when my child turned eighteen. It is heartbreaking when they get so upset over the adoption and I imagine they feel terribly abandoned.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 481829, member: 1550"] All of my adopted kids tell me, now that they are older, than being adopted affected them a lot. I understand it because it I was adopted it would drive me crazy not knowing who I looked like or all the whys. I tried to share what was age appropriate at the time, but always told the truth. The older kids know everything I have and, if necessary, I tried to find out more, including trying to find the birthmother (they seemed a lot more interested in her than birthfather). I did find one birthmother. I adopted two kids from cultures that do not approve of out-of-wedlock children (especilaly girls) and told both of those kids very early on that their birthmother didn't really have a choice, considering the way things were in their country on birth. I explained it was not like it is here and their birthmothers really had no choice or else it would have been very difficult, if not impossible, for both of them. My son, who was adopted at six, never really stopped looking for his birthfamily and he found them (this was after I had found his birthmother when he was young). So he had an address. I don't know if he ever saw them or not because he no longer communicates with us, but I have seen his birthmother and half-sibs on his Facebook Friends list. My Korean daughter is very accepting and knows that if she wishes to search for her birthmother she has my blessing and I will help any way I can. She has not done it yet, but, like almost all adopted kids, she wonders about it. Jumper is the child closest to me and we have had long talks. She believes the being adopted is a 'special need" because you are different and always have questions. She was very lucky that she was able to communicte, if briefly, with both of her birthparents and that she knows for a fact that they cared about her. Of all my kids, my biological child included, she is my best adjusted. Sometimes, when they are very young, all we can do is hold them. I would also promise to do everything in my power to help find the birthmother when my child turned eighteen. It is heartbreaking when they get so upset over the adoption and I imagine they feel terribly abandoned. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Question for adoptive parents
Top