Mikey
Psycho Gorilla Dad
wife and Dancer are leaving on Monday for two weeks on the west coast, leaving me with Sarge and McWeedy. I've been nervous about this for weeks, since I have to work and that would leave McWeedy "unchecked" for the entire day (and most of the night, if he decided to stay out 'till curfew). To say the least, I wasn't very happy with wife adding herself to what was supposed to be a trip just for Dancer to see her grampa.
Last week, though, I started to get the feeling that McWeedy wasn't going to make much trouble during that two weeks. I think that several issues came together to lead him to that point: the various medical issues, his run-in with the police, my statement that he was close to making his therapist's prediction that he'd be kicked out of the house within a year, and the fact that I'd already talked to both the police and juvie authorities about exactly what I could and couldn't do with him (and what they could/would do with him as well).
So, while I wasn't as worried, I still wasn't looking forward to what would still be a lonely two weeks, since Sarge either works or keeps to himself, and McWeedy is gone every moment he can manage. So I started to try and plan something for "just the guys". I asked them for ideas, and came up with going to Orlando for the week of the 4th, staying at the Hard Rock hotel (something both of them have wanted to do for a while), going to the Universal theme parks, and going to see Blue Man Group in concert at Universal. We'd also be at Universal for their big 4th of July bash at Citiwalk.
When I pitched it to them, they said it sounded fun. So I worked, begged, and finally put it all together except for actually spending the money on reservations. On a hunch, I asked them one more time "are you both sure you want to do this?".
I should have known....
Sarge starts bleating about not being able to miss work (even though I'd carefully worked out the trip so he'd only miss two days), and McWeedy starts griping about wanting to spend that week with his girlfriend. "Can we bring her?" he asks? At first, I said no because it was costing quite a bit per person. He then pipes up 10 minutes later that she was willing to kick in 500 bucks to go. I then say that she'd need an extra room at the hotel, which is already 300 bucks/night for the 4th. He then got that hang-dog look on his face, and said "I really wanted to be with her on the 4th" and walked away.
So now, I'm not sure what to do. Originally, I didn't want to do this because of the money. But wife convinced me to try, saying "when will you have another chance to get away with your sons, just the three of you for something you'll remember forever?" I thought about it, then realized she was right and worked my prodigious rear end off coming up with something we'd all enjoy. I became really excited about the trip, and was looking forward to a fun, guys-only vacation with my sons.
Only, I didn't count on the fact that no matter how "fun" I could make it for two older teen boys, that they still wouldn't want to go and couldn't appreciate that the goal was for us to spend time together.
Sarge asked me last night if we were still going. I replied that he didn't even know if he could/would get the time off from work. He said he'd ask today, but he's a hard person to read. I never know his motivations for anything (probably borderline aspie), but if he says he wants to go, I'll take it. The only problem is McWeedy.
First, a blatantly obvious statment: McWeedy cannot be left alone for four days, and there isn't a single person I can let him stay with that I trust. So either he goes, or nobody goes.
Now, the question: if Sarge wants to go, do I force McWeedy to go as well? I think he'd like it once we're there, but I also think he could really ruin it if he gets a notion to be a jerk. Also, I can't send him off so that Sarge and I can go. His primary gripe is that he wants to be with his girlfriend, so sending him off would be no different than bringing him, only difference being that he'd make someone else miserable besides me.
Over the last 12 hours, I've drifted back and forth between forcing him to go and hoping for the best, to completely giving up hope and deciding to stay home and weather the two weeks 'till wife and Dancer come back (whoopee, big fun there). And I have to make a decision today, since air flights and other things are booking up fast (that's only two weeks away).
Thoughts from anyone? I can go, force McWeedy to come, and hope for the best, or I can stay home, essentially on my own for two weeks, and lose my chance for a summer vacation with my kids.
Ideas, thoughts, or comments much appreciated.
Thanks,
Mikey
Last week, though, I started to get the feeling that McWeedy wasn't going to make much trouble during that two weeks. I think that several issues came together to lead him to that point: the various medical issues, his run-in with the police, my statement that he was close to making his therapist's prediction that he'd be kicked out of the house within a year, and the fact that I'd already talked to both the police and juvie authorities about exactly what I could and couldn't do with him (and what they could/would do with him as well).
So, while I wasn't as worried, I still wasn't looking forward to what would still be a lonely two weeks, since Sarge either works or keeps to himself, and McWeedy is gone every moment he can manage. So I started to try and plan something for "just the guys". I asked them for ideas, and came up with going to Orlando for the week of the 4th, staying at the Hard Rock hotel (something both of them have wanted to do for a while), going to the Universal theme parks, and going to see Blue Man Group in concert at Universal. We'd also be at Universal for their big 4th of July bash at Citiwalk.
When I pitched it to them, they said it sounded fun. So I worked, begged, and finally put it all together except for actually spending the money on reservations. On a hunch, I asked them one more time "are you both sure you want to do this?".
I should have known....
Sarge starts bleating about not being able to miss work (even though I'd carefully worked out the trip so he'd only miss two days), and McWeedy starts griping about wanting to spend that week with his girlfriend. "Can we bring her?" he asks? At first, I said no because it was costing quite a bit per person. He then pipes up 10 minutes later that she was willing to kick in 500 bucks to go. I then say that she'd need an extra room at the hotel, which is already 300 bucks/night for the 4th. He then got that hang-dog look on his face, and said "I really wanted to be with her on the 4th" and walked away.
So now, I'm not sure what to do. Originally, I didn't want to do this because of the money. But wife convinced me to try, saying "when will you have another chance to get away with your sons, just the three of you for something you'll remember forever?" I thought about it, then realized she was right and worked my prodigious rear end off coming up with something we'd all enjoy. I became really excited about the trip, and was looking forward to a fun, guys-only vacation with my sons.
Only, I didn't count on the fact that no matter how "fun" I could make it for two older teen boys, that they still wouldn't want to go and couldn't appreciate that the goal was for us to spend time together.
Sarge asked me last night if we were still going. I replied that he didn't even know if he could/would get the time off from work. He said he'd ask today, but he's a hard person to read. I never know his motivations for anything (probably borderline aspie), but if he says he wants to go, I'll take it. The only problem is McWeedy.
First, a blatantly obvious statment: McWeedy cannot be left alone for four days, and there isn't a single person I can let him stay with that I trust. So either he goes, or nobody goes.
Now, the question: if Sarge wants to go, do I force McWeedy to go as well? I think he'd like it once we're there, but I also think he could really ruin it if he gets a notion to be a jerk. Also, I can't send him off so that Sarge and I can go. His primary gripe is that he wants to be with his girlfriend, so sending him off would be no different than bringing him, only difference being that he'd make someone else miserable besides me.
Over the last 12 hours, I've drifted back and forth between forcing him to go and hoping for the best, to completely giving up hope and deciding to stay home and weather the two weeks 'till wife and Dancer come back (whoopee, big fun there). And I have to make a decision today, since air flights and other things are booking up fast (that's only two weeks away).
Thoughts from anyone? I can go, force McWeedy to come, and hope for the best, or I can stay home, essentially on my own for two weeks, and lose my chance for a summer vacation with my kids.
Ideas, thoughts, or comments much appreciated.
Thanks,
Mikey
