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Questioning self
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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 674474" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>I have been there too, many times. I think for me it is a very seductive idea, to imagine I could still wield that kind of influence, like I did when my children were small.</p><p></p><p>And maybe I *AM* to blame, maybe I *HAVE* caused things.</p><p></p><p>Boy, I sure did some messed up things when my kids were young.</p><p></p><p>But wait -- I did those things to BOTH of my kids, and one of them is doing great.</p><p></p><p>And my husband's parents...wow...I could tell you some stories. And he turned out fine.</p><p></p><p>Oh -- and MY parents! Definitely worse things in my childhood, but I didn't go off the rails, nor do I feel any anger or bitterness toward them. If they had ever once expressed guilt or regret for their parenting, I would have quashed it, quickly and definitively. They did the best they could.</p><p></p><p>I think as parents we are so desperate to know WHY things are the way they are that we are willing to take it all on ourselves, just to try to make sense of it. We do not have that kind of power over anyone's life, as much as we think we would want to.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 674474, member: 17720"] I have been there too, many times. I think for me it is a very seductive idea, to imagine I could still wield that kind of influence, like I did when my children were small. And maybe I *AM* to blame, maybe I *HAVE* caused things. Boy, I sure did some messed up things when my kids were young. But wait -- I did those things to BOTH of my kids, and one of them is doing great. And my husband's parents...wow...I could tell you some stories. And he turned out fine. Oh -- and MY parents! Definitely worse things in my childhood, but I didn't go off the rails, nor do I feel any anger or bitterness toward them. If they had ever once expressed guilt or regret for their parenting, I would have quashed it, quickly and definitively. They did the best they could. I think as parents we are so desperate to know WHY things are the way they are that we are willing to take it all on ourselves, just to try to make sense of it. We do not have that kind of power over anyone's life, as much as we think we would want to. [/QUOTE]
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