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General Parenting
Quick question to parents of difficult child's who abuses friend/s!!!?
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 538865" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Hi lovelyboy. I too can identify with some of your dilemma. Which I think is, in essence, that because the difficult child cannot be relied on to behave appropriately, one is scared of encouraging social encounters - but without social encounters, the difficult child will definitely not improve. In this particular case, the boy is wanting to play with your son but you feel it is not a helpful relationship to either side. Is there any way your son can be coached how to play with this child, what to do when he irritates him rather than resorting to insults and abuse? Because it's this sort of thing he needs to learn and it will all just arise with another child if not this one. A valuable opportunity but how to exploit it without exhausting yourself, upsetting this other child or alienating your son? Can you be present when they play together, helping your son when he starts to react badly?</p><p>Whereas I am an innate believer in "letting children get on with it", I am starting to feel that that is what I need to do with J and other children - supervise their play and help him act more appropriately when he starts getting upset or quarrelsome over something. It's just my take on it that it's more helpful to walk into the fire than (understandably) to protect the child from it. In the long run, in terms of acquiring the oh so vital skills our kids lack sometimes.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 538865, member: 11227"] Hi lovelyboy. I too can identify with some of your dilemma. Which I think is, in essence, that because the difficult child cannot be relied on to behave appropriately, one is scared of encouraging social encounters - but without social encounters, the difficult child will definitely not improve. In this particular case, the boy is wanting to play with your son but you feel it is not a helpful relationship to either side. Is there any way your son can be coached how to play with this child, what to do when he irritates him rather than resorting to insults and abuse? Because it's this sort of thing he needs to learn and it will all just arise with another child if not this one. A valuable opportunity but how to exploit it without exhausting yourself, upsetting this other child or alienating your son? Can you be present when they play together, helping your son when he starts to react badly? Whereas I am an innate believer in "letting children get on with it", I am starting to feel that that is what I need to do with J and other children - supervise their play and help him act more appropriately when he starts getting upset or quarrelsome over something. It's just my take on it that it's more helpful to walk into the fire than (understandably) to protect the child from it. In the long run, in terms of acquiring the oh so vital skills our kids lack sometimes. [/QUOTE]
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Quick question to parents of difficult child's who abuses friend/s!!!?
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