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General Parenting
Quillivant XR, appts soon, there was a mix up insc!! Ugghh!!
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 652981" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Just keep in mind that as parents our job is to try to guide our kids to become as functional, emotionally and mentally stable and wholesome individuals as is possible to them. Our goal is not win any 'most hard core mom of the street'- or 'most awesome parent'-awards.</p><p></p><p>And when you have kid(s) with issues, you better keep in mind that for outsiders, those who do not have experience or education of troubled kids, the answer to everything tends to be the simpliest and easiest: More discipline. Average kids often learn well from consequences, positive and negative, kids with issues often do not. But if your own child or you yourself learnt well from consequences, you tend to assume that if kid is not learning, the consequences have not been tough enough and kids would learn, if they were just treated tough enough. If that would be true, old time reform schools would had been huge successes and even now people wouldn't end up to juvenile halls or jails or prisons second time. That is not true (in fact many studies show, that juvenile and adult offenders who serve time for offences tend to re-offend more than those offenders, who did not get jail time.)</p><p></p><p>There needs to be consequences also for child who do not learn well from them, but even more you need to facilitate his success. Help him get things and skills that make it possible for him to do well in his every day life and help him learn to be productive citizen. It doesn't matter what your next door neighbour or relative thinks. They most likely would think otherwise, if they were the one raising your son.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 652981, member: 14557"] Just keep in mind that as parents our job is to try to guide our kids to become as functional, emotionally and mentally stable and wholesome individuals as is possible to them. Our goal is not win any 'most hard core mom of the street'- or 'most awesome parent'-awards. And when you have kid(s) with issues, you better keep in mind that for outsiders, those who do not have experience or education of troubled kids, the answer to everything tends to be the simpliest and easiest: More discipline. Average kids often learn well from consequences, positive and negative, kids with issues often do not. But if your own child or you yourself learnt well from consequences, you tend to assume that if kid is not learning, the consequences have not been tough enough and kids would learn, if they were just treated tough enough. If that would be true, old time reform schools would had been huge successes and even now people wouldn't end up to juvenile halls or jails or prisons second time. That is not true (in fact many studies show, that juvenile and adult offenders who serve time for offences tend to re-offend more than those offenders, who did not get jail time.) There needs to be consequences also for child who do not learn well from them, but even more you need to facilitate his success. Help him get things and skills that make it possible for him to do well in his every day life and help him learn to be productive citizen. It doesn't matter what your next door neighbour or relative thinks. They most likely would think otherwise, if they were the one raising your son. [/QUOTE]
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Quillivant XR, appts soon, there was a mix up insc!! Ugghh!!
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