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R.V.T (Rant Ventilation Thread)
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<blockquote data-quote="aninom" data-source="post: 322658" data-attributes="member: 8513"><p>That is a spot-on idea - if she doesn't feel the room covetuous, it won't act as a trigger. I've spent the afternoon uglifying it or rather just stashing away most of the decoration.</p><p> </p><p>Unfortunately I can't use plastic since it's one of those the-bed-IS-the-mattress deals, but luckily the top part (which is also the bed/mattress) can be lifted like a lid - I'm stashing all my painting materials, good sheets, lamps, clothes etc inside it. Then I'll wrap an ugly jumbo sheet around so the lid handle doesn't peek out. </p><p> </p><p>I feel you on the getting a new mattress part. Back when difficult child lived with us permanently we had a big account for new mattress coverings - it's like they don't notice their own messes, or simply don't care? I'm guessing whatever chaos is going on in their own heads seep over into their daily life as well. They become immune to it, maybe.</p><p> </p><p>I'll check in town for some lock possibilities: if her room has one too, you're right in that she'd buy it or at least not lash out. She's tried to (and almost succeded in) punch through a door of similar light-weight material before, so I'd rather it not even become an issue that she can't enter. </p><p> </p><p>Calm day on the difficult child front. Letting her add me as a friend on facebook is the worst idea I've ever had - now that I know she's planning to come I get a twist in my stomach everytime she writes something to her friends and it pops up on my feed (does this mean she's coming? That she's not? When is she coming? Will she be in a good mood? etc.) Right now it seems 17th is the magic date, but she's told me a different day than what her friends believe (she has this magic ignorance shield in her brain - she just can't believe she would ever NOT get away with a lie, so why bother being careful about it? maybe she's forgotten I have access to her feeds on facebook, who knows). </p><p> </p><p>I know there's more than 2 weeks to go and I need to stop worrying. But preparation is key to this going well.</p><p> </p><p>Susiestar:</p><p></p><p> </p><p>Mom would chip in for me in a heartbeat, I just don't want her to unless it really gets necessary. I think, maybe, some petty part of my brain wants to be as perfect as possible just to put it into contrast for difficult child how disrespectful her own behavior and expectations are. Mostly it's just not an issue, since I work and difficult child doesn't.</p><p> </p><p>Please don't think I get the short end of the stick from my parents, because that's not true - I just don't need or want financial support from them if I can help it. It doesn't feel good to be an added weight to an already heavy boatload.</p><p> </p><p>In any case, it's the big, living-room furniture and apartment itself I'm worried about - that stuff isn't as cheap, and for some reason or another difficult child has hated it from day one. I suspect she has a little bit of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) or maybe just needs to control her environment down to the material stuff, any small change we make to this apartment sets her off to varying degrees. Sometimes I think she'd rather have no furniture at all than let us pick it out without her input.</p><p> </p><p>Oh, and I'm preparing for a poo-storm because I threw away her old and nasty fake nails, empty perfume bottles, etc. Mom always saves all this stuff she scatters around the apartment in a box - when I asked why, she explained difficult child doesn't exactly want it anymore but had still gotten ballistic a couple of times if we "disrespected her property" (i.e. cleaned away old mess). I may be a pathetic roll-over, but I was NOT about to save that stuff. Didn't know she'd be coming here at the time, but there's just no way I'm feeling sorry about doing something perfectly normal. Mom asked me how I could do that - but I don't know how she could hold on to this gross stuff for years.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="aninom, post: 322658, member: 8513"] That is a spot-on idea - if she doesn't feel the room covetuous, it won't act as a trigger. I've spent the afternoon uglifying it or rather just stashing away most of the decoration. Unfortunately I can't use plastic since it's one of those the-bed-IS-the-mattress deals, but luckily the top part (which is also the bed/mattress) can be lifted like a lid - I'm stashing all my painting materials, good sheets, lamps, clothes etc inside it. Then I'll wrap an ugly jumbo sheet around so the lid handle doesn't peek out. I feel you on the getting a new mattress part. Back when difficult child lived with us permanently we had a big account for new mattress coverings - it's like they don't notice their own messes, or simply don't care? I'm guessing whatever chaos is going on in their own heads seep over into their daily life as well. They become immune to it, maybe. I'll check in town for some lock possibilities: if her room has one too, you're right in that she'd buy it or at least not lash out. She's tried to (and almost succeded in) punch through a door of similar light-weight material before, so I'd rather it not even become an issue that she can't enter. Calm day on the difficult child front. Letting her add me as a friend on facebook is the worst idea I've ever had - now that I know she's planning to come I get a twist in my stomach everytime she writes something to her friends and it pops up on my feed (does this mean she's coming? That she's not? When is she coming? Will she be in a good mood? etc.) Right now it seems 17th is the magic date, but she's told me a different day than what her friends believe (she has this magic ignorance shield in her brain - she just can't believe she would ever NOT get away with a lie, so why bother being careful about it? maybe she's forgotten I have access to her feeds on facebook, who knows). I know there's more than 2 weeks to go and I need to stop worrying. But preparation is key to this going well. Susiestar: Mom would chip in for me in a heartbeat, I just don't want her to unless it really gets necessary. I think, maybe, some petty part of my brain wants to be as perfect as possible just to put it into contrast for difficult child how disrespectful her own behavior and expectations are. Mostly it's just not an issue, since I work and difficult child doesn't. Please don't think I get the short end of the stick from my parents, because that's not true - I just don't need or want financial support from them if I can help it. It doesn't feel good to be an added weight to an already heavy boatload. In any case, it's the big, living-room furniture and apartment itself I'm worried about - that stuff isn't as cheap, and for some reason or another difficult child has hated it from day one. I suspect she has a little bit of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) or maybe just needs to control her environment down to the material stuff, any small change we make to this apartment sets her off to varying degrees. Sometimes I think she'd rather have no furniture at all than let us pick it out without her input. Oh, and I'm preparing for a poo-storm because I threw away her old and nasty fake nails, empty perfume bottles, etc. Mom always saves all this stuff she scatters around the apartment in a box - when I asked why, she explained difficult child doesn't exactly want it anymore but had still gotten ballistic a couple of times if we "disrespected her property" (i.e. cleaned away old mess). I may be a pathetic roll-over, but I was NOT about to save that stuff. Didn't know she'd be coming here at the time, but there's just no way I'm feeling sorry about doing something perfectly normal. Mom asked me how I could do that - but I don't know how she could hold on to this gross stuff for years. [/QUOTE]
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