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R.V.T (Rant Ventilation Thread)
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<blockquote data-quote="katya02" data-source="post: 323720" data-attributes="member: 2884"><p>Hi, and a belated but warm welcome. I just read the thread in General and am shaking my head. Your sister sounds like a combination of one of my sisters and my difficult child. Very, very scary. </p><p></p><p>Now that you know your sister is definitely arriving for a long time, is there any possibility you can move out and just live in your own place? I honestly can't see any other recipe for sanity. You've lived with your sister's abuse all these years and your parents are continuing to enable her. That's their choice, but in that case I would take their offer and get another place. I wouldn't worry about the cost to them. They are putting you in this predicament by enabling your sister. As long as they are willing to let her wreck their possessions and reputation among their future neighbors and pay her to do it, there is absolutely nothing you can do to make the situation better. Two-hour convos about safeguards are meaningless. If your parents want people to check in, by all means, but you need peace and quiet to pursue your studies and career and - emphatically - you don't want to be caught up in your sister's parties and drug use and end up the scapegoat. She will do it to you without a qualm, believe me. I've lived with enough personality-disordered people to know that. </p><p></p><p>Please protect yourself and stop worrying about your parents' choices. They are adults. You only have one life. You can't rescue your sister, you can only let her make her choices, ditto for your parents, and you make your own choices. After years of trying to hold/patch your family together, at some point you have to take a step back and realize you can only fix yourself. I hope very much that you will consider striking out on your own. You'll be amazed at how much better you'll do, and amazed at how much everything in your family stays exactly the same.</p><p></p><p>Best wishes and warm hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="katya02, post: 323720, member: 2884"] Hi, and a belated but warm welcome. I just read the thread in General and am shaking my head. Your sister sounds like a combination of one of my sisters and my difficult child. Very, very scary. Now that you know your sister is definitely arriving for a long time, is there any possibility you can move out and just live in your own place? I honestly can't see any other recipe for sanity. You've lived with your sister's abuse all these years and your parents are continuing to enable her. That's their choice, but in that case I would take their offer and get another place. I wouldn't worry about the cost to them. They are putting you in this predicament by enabling your sister. As long as they are willing to let her wreck their possessions and reputation among their future neighbors and pay her to do it, there is absolutely nothing you can do to make the situation better. Two-hour convos about safeguards are meaningless. If your parents want people to check in, by all means, but you need peace and quiet to pursue your studies and career and - emphatically - you don't want to be caught up in your sister's parties and drug use and end up the scapegoat. She will do it to you without a qualm, believe me. I've lived with enough personality-disordered people to know that. Please protect yourself and stop worrying about your parents' choices. They are adults. You only have one life. You can't rescue your sister, you can only let her make her choices, ditto for your parents, and you make your own choices. After years of trying to hold/patch your family together, at some point you have to take a step back and realize you can only fix yourself. I hope very much that you will consider striking out on your own. You'll be amazed at how much better you'll do, and amazed at how much everything in your family stays exactly the same. Best wishes and warm hugs. [/QUOTE]
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