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Rant, whining.
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 340387" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>husband and I split up and divorced years ago.....then remarried 9 months after the divorce. The reason isn't relevant so I won't go into it. </p><p></p><p>But during that time I dated 2 other guys......I don't assume husband spent the actual year we were apart alone either.</p><p></p><p>You need to first cut the drama surrounding the events of your separation off at the knees. You and husband need to hash it out for real. When you got back together, the events of that time frame should have been put behind you and let go. Whether or not either of you were intimate with the others you dated.</p><p></p><p>This is the reason I don't agree to dating while separated. in my opinion it's never a good idea because you've got at least 50/50 odds of going back and dating only makes for trouble.</p><p></p><p>But that aside.......... Agreeing to come back as a couple implies, even if it wasn't discussed, that both of you were ok with that issue and were ready to try moving forward again. Evidently husband was not or he wouldn't be acting jealous of everyone and trying to guilt you at every turn.</p><p></p><p>I know it will be tough to hash it out with husband deployed. But you can't spend the entire time he is gone as a hermit either. And if you don't get this settled once and for all........it is going to get much worse until it destroys your relationship.</p><p></p><p>Me? I'd tell husband to stuff it and it's no business of his whom I spend my time with. He either trusts me or he doesn't and if not, then that is <strong>his</strong> issue to deal with. And then I'd go out with friends and refuse to isolate myself just to make him feel more secure. husband will tell you that I've flat out told him that if he doesn't trust me, there is the door, no one is forcing him to stay.</p><p></p><p>((hugs))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 340387, member: 84"] husband and I split up and divorced years ago.....then remarried 9 months after the divorce. The reason isn't relevant so I won't go into it. But during that time I dated 2 other guys......I don't assume husband spent the actual year we were apart alone either. You need to first cut the drama surrounding the events of your separation off at the knees. You and husband need to hash it out for real. When you got back together, the events of that time frame should have been put behind you and let go. Whether or not either of you were intimate with the others you dated. This is the reason I don't agree to dating while separated. in my opinion it's never a good idea because you've got at least 50/50 odds of going back and dating only makes for trouble. But that aside.......... Agreeing to come back as a couple implies, even if it wasn't discussed, that both of you were ok with that issue and were ready to try moving forward again. Evidently husband was not or he wouldn't be acting jealous of everyone and trying to guilt you at every turn. I know it will be tough to hash it out with husband deployed. But you can't spend the entire time he is gone as a hermit either. And if you don't get this settled once and for all........it is going to get much worse until it destroys your relationship. Me? I'd tell husband to stuff it and it's no business of his whom I spend my time with. He either trusts me or he doesn't and if not, then that is [B]his[/B] issue to deal with. And then I'd go out with friends and refuse to isolate myself just to make him feel more secure. husband will tell you that I've flat out told him that if he doesn't trust me, there is the door, no one is forcing him to stay. ((hugs)) [/QUOTE]
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