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Re: Did addiction turn your kid difficult child or was your kid a difficult child who became addict?
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 564701" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Sig: With your son it seems very evident what was a trigger. That add to some genetic risk and other issues (he was a nineteen year boy, I'm sure he did had issues with all kinds of things. At least I have never met 17-year-old girl or 19-year-old boy who wouldn't have issues regarding their place on world, what they want from future, what is expected from them and so on.) I think that at times it is just bad luck.</p><p></p><p>I have wondered this topic a lot (I think I started the original thread from which this is Re: from) and while with my difficult child it is very clear he was a difficult child first (from birth) and will probably always be little different, I still don't really get how he turned addicted like he did. His compulsive gambling developed very quickly and violently and that isn't really common. He went through a cycle of addiction that usually takes ten years in less than ten months. He did so with very little money. It did take only weeks for internet poker taking totally over his life. Though he did won some first, in five months from gambling first time he had sold almost all he owned, in debt and stealing. And just turned seventeen.</p><p></p><p>I have tried to explain it to myself by his addictive personality but that doesn't really fly. I mean, he does have some vulnerability, there are substance abuse and addiction issues in family tree, he is very impulsive and immature, he is very competitive and fascinated same type of things that give same stimulus than internet poker can. But when you actually look at him, he doesn't seem that addictive personality. He is nineteen, has been drinking at least five years that I know. He is mostly moderate drinker who tends to drink socially acceptable amount (that in our culture can be anything from half class of wine to so much you have to crawl home because you are not able to walk depending the situation.) He does get sick rather easily and probably because of that tends to drink less than many and often offers to be a designated driver. To my knowledge he either hasn't tried drugs or only done so time or two. He had no difficulties getting rid of his snus (highly addictive mouth tobacco) habit. He enjoys gaming at times but does it less than most boys his age and while he is quite good (awesome hand eye coordination does that) it really doesn't interest him that much. He likes it if he competes with others and does it to pass time if he has nothing to do and there is nothing fun in tv. But certainly not a hint of addiction and in many ways it should be close to internet poker in addiction type. Money could explain the gambling addiction in part, but to tell you a truth he isn't that interested about money. He happily gets by with minimum income and doesn't seem to obsess over things he could have if he had more money. And when a possibility came up last spring he wasn't interested going for the career possibilities with better immediate money. And he does know he has much better chance to make money with his sport than with gambling and gambling certainly jeopardised his sport.</p><p></p><p>And still he turned so violently addicted so quickly it really surprised people working with gambling problems. And again after crashing and burning he has surprised everyone in how well he has done in recovery. He has relapsed less and much more shortly than expected. Even under very high stress gambling doesn't seem to be his solution. I don't know why. In a way he shouldn't be doing so well, it shouldn't be so 'easy' to him. Not that I'm complaining but somehow his sudden and deep in-and-out addiction just doesn't make any sense.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 564701, member: 14557"] Sig: With your son it seems very evident what was a trigger. That add to some genetic risk and other issues (he was a nineteen year boy, I'm sure he did had issues with all kinds of things. At least I have never met 17-year-old girl or 19-year-old boy who wouldn't have issues regarding their place on world, what they want from future, what is expected from them and so on.) I think that at times it is just bad luck. I have wondered this topic a lot (I think I started the original thread from which this is Re: from) and while with my difficult child it is very clear he was a difficult child first (from birth) and will probably always be little different, I still don't really get how he turned addicted like he did. His compulsive gambling developed very quickly and violently and that isn't really common. He went through a cycle of addiction that usually takes ten years in less than ten months. He did so with very little money. It did take only weeks for internet poker taking totally over his life. Though he did won some first, in five months from gambling first time he had sold almost all he owned, in debt and stealing. And just turned seventeen. I have tried to explain it to myself by his addictive personality but that doesn't really fly. I mean, he does have some vulnerability, there are substance abuse and addiction issues in family tree, he is very impulsive and immature, he is very competitive and fascinated same type of things that give same stimulus than internet poker can. But when you actually look at him, he doesn't seem that addictive personality. He is nineteen, has been drinking at least five years that I know. He is mostly moderate drinker who tends to drink socially acceptable amount (that in our culture can be anything from half class of wine to so much you have to crawl home because you are not able to walk depending the situation.) He does get sick rather easily and probably because of that tends to drink less than many and often offers to be a designated driver. To my knowledge he either hasn't tried drugs or only done so time or two. He had no difficulties getting rid of his snus (highly addictive mouth tobacco) habit. He enjoys gaming at times but does it less than most boys his age and while he is quite good (awesome hand eye coordination does that) it really doesn't interest him that much. He likes it if he competes with others and does it to pass time if he has nothing to do and there is nothing fun in tv. But certainly not a hint of addiction and in many ways it should be close to internet poker in addiction type. Money could explain the gambling addiction in part, but to tell you a truth he isn't that interested about money. He happily gets by with minimum income and doesn't seem to obsess over things he could have if he had more money. And when a possibility came up last spring he wasn't interested going for the career possibilities with better immediate money. And he does know he has much better chance to make money with his sport than with gambling and gambling certainly jeopardised his sport. And still he turned so violently addicted so quickly it really surprised people working with gambling problems. And again after crashing and burning he has surprised everyone in how well he has done in recovery. He has relapsed less and much more shortly than expected. Even under very high stress gambling doesn't seem to be his solution. I don't know why. In a way he shouldn't be doing so well, it shouldn't be so 'easy' to him. Not that I'm complaining but somehow his sudden and deep in-and-out addiction just doesn't make any sense. [/QUOTE]
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Re: Did addiction turn your kid difficult child or was your kid a difficult child who became addict?
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