Well..After my phone call from school two minutes after he was there and after getting yelled at by difficult child, I hung up, called his father's phone and left him a message to call school. When I left work I called dad. (his lunch time then). I asked him if he called school. he said yes and difficult child was in with social worker and school psychologist. He was refusing to do the testing. But they put difficult child on the phone, husband told him to do it, so he said "OK". difficult child will yell at me, call me names go on and on, but when husband says something he says "ok". So..I had an appointment and didn't get home until 2:40. There was a message on the answering machine from gym teacher. "difficult child refused to dress for gym today. he was suppose to be sitting by the wall watching and he was goofing around with other kids so I asked him to move to another spot. difficult child replied "no". Gym teacher said "excuse me" difficult child said N - -O. So, he was brought to the office and the message suggested I call the VP to see what would happen. I called VP and he just told me the same as the message. Didn't have a chance to speak to difficult child yet, although he was waiting his turn. I told VP that I can no longer take calls at work, all calls must go to his father and he will have to return the call. I then went to bed. Woke up at 4:30, they were already gone to his baseball game, I could of went, but thought I would like to get a little more than 1.5 hours sleep. So, I called husband and asked if he knew about gym. He very sarcastically said, Yes, i talked to VP and he told me he didn't speak to the gym teacher yet. (not what he told me) I am also constantly telling difficult child everyday to bring home backpack with accordian folder. EVERYDAY. That way all papers can go in there and they won't get lost or crumpled up. Well, All that was on the table was english papers. So, I told husband, he didn't bring home his backpack again. husband said "oh, thats my fault". I said NO..that is HIS fault. husband didn't make him go back in and get it. Shouldn't have to. 7th grade, I tell him every day. husband got mad, started yelling at me so I hung up and laid back down. Started thinking, I asked husband to lay down the laws to difficult child because difficult child doesn't listen to me. husband said, like what? What laws? (this was a few weeks ago). So, I told him. If he gets kicked out of class, refuses to go to class, mouths off to teachers, refuses work, mouths off to me, etc...consequences. he never did. So, I got up, took the keyboard, mouse, ipod, cell phone and all game system controllers and went down stairs and packed them away. Put some paper in a folder, sharpened some pencils (even put his name on the pencils with marker lol)put some pens and a notebook next to his english papers. (thought I would be sleeping). Left him a note to Do homework, Do reading log, take supplies to school. Couldn't sleep, they came home. I did ask about the game. Then asked difficult child if he had any homework, science/math/social...He said, No, I wasn't in class I was testing. So, I repeated the question. He repeated the same answer. I asked if he checked with teachers for the assignments he would have. he said no. I told him to do his reading log. (read 15 minutes write down one thing about what you read) He said he wasn't in class. I reminded him that he has to do this everyday, so do it. difficult child tries to say there is a special form. (there is, but he never uses it because he loses it and ends up just writing it on paper) I was also thinking it has been 6 weeks since quarter 3 ended, and I haven't seen a report card. So..I asked husband if the report card came. Both of them said, Oh..Yeah it did. Well, when did it come and where is it? Why didn't you let me know? Well, they don't know where it is, and they can't remember any grades or comments. now I am REALLY mad. He leaves all the bills on the table unopened, but I do not ever see any mail from the school. Actually, he doesn't ever tell me if school calls him unless I ask. And if I ask what he did, he makes up some story that I later find out isn't all true. My dilema now is, I told school to call him. He will not punish or give any consequences to difficult child. He will not tell me either. So..husband and I were arguing..very loudly, difficult child was crying. I was angry that husband lets difficult child talk to me the way he does,(but husband talks to me that way). Asked him what his father would of done if he spoke that way. something was said and i said it was because of difficult child that we fight. Before him we never fought. I said I am sick and tired of working nights, taking care of all business, dealing with school and not getting any sleep. I told husband it must be nice to work 7 - 3, weekends off and have someone taking care of him. Told him he could never make it on what he makes. husband complained that I sleep. YEAH..I am up all night. Then went into how husband lies to me and keeps things regarding school and difficult child from me. Called a friend, counselor from elementary school. She is difficult child's best friend. She teaches parenting classes, has been a counselor at that school since easy child went there and before. She spoke to me, telling me it is not difficult child's fault. I said it was. She said it is mine and husband's fault we need to be on the same page. (that will never happen, difficult child does no wrong in husband's eyes) I told her I was worried about next weeks IEP because there will be 12 people saying all these mean and sarchastic things about difficult child...and ME alone. been there done that that is why I know what will happen. She told me if it was scheduled after 3pm she would go, but can't take off of her school hours to go. Elementary gets out at 3pm, middle school at 3:40pm. I told difficult child, and her that I am all "fought out". I have fought for difficult child for 6 years, alone, and I just can't do it anylonger. difficult child is making it worse for himself. I try to make it better but he just defies everything I say or do. i want to just drive away and never look back. But I love him so much. counselor asked what he does when he gets home. He acts like nothing ever happened. Once in a great while he will say he is sorry, he shouldn't of said, or shouldn't of done, blah, blah, blah..over and over. No more. Damage is done. I can't do it any more. I am completely drained and have no more fight left in me. Counselor said to go to school and request a copy of all referrals, report cards and other mail to be mailed to ME at a different address. Will do that. husband wants difficult child to get "fresh air"...that is his excuse on why he never punishes him. I am the bad guy, don't care anylonger. I told both of them the only fresh air he is going to get is TO and FROM school. All he will see will be the inside of that house. How long???? don't know. I will see progress reports on Wednesday (half day.. oh yeah, look forward to that)Told difficult child one week for now because of the way he spoke to me. And, after I look at progress reports could be longer. Told husband I will be in contact with school, just no phone calls so he best tell me what is going on. i left for work two hours early, drove around and smoked. Had 1.5 hours sleep and am a total wreck. Totally lost and don't think I can find the peices to pick up.