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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 243723" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Hey K......</p><p> </p><p>Thanks for reading my post about Dude - </p><p> </p><p>Currently what I am attempting to do is pretend that Dude is NOT my kid. That he's someone I met, and (at 18) don't owe a thing to. </p><p> </p><p>Of course there is ALWAYS the nagging feeling in the back of my mind that if I do not do something he asks for then I'm going to be excommunicated from him. I think that's the part that I can't deal well with, so I tell myself again - IF this were not my son, but just an abusive person who treats me like carp unless it suits his project of the moment WOULD I......</p><p>give him a key to my house to do laundry? </p><p>give him a key to my house to get on MY PERSONAL computer (ie all my information and my lifeline to the outside world, because you KNOW when you get it back, it's going to run like MUD because of porn (oh no that's just mine lol) My Space, downloading a ton of pirated songs that he will argue with me are LEGAL (OH NO THEY ARE NOT). and on and on</p><p>Give him $5.00 so he could get a sandwhich? Yeah - I'd do that for anyone almost. </p><p>ALLOW him to come to MY peaceful, mellow life and MESS it up because HE can not seem (despite my every insistance, help and creedo) to get his proverbial mess together? </p><p> </p><p>Nooooooooooooooo. </p><p> </p><p>In your mind when you feel like caving you can try the "My son is a stranger" deal in your head and treat him like someone you met in the post office parking lot.....it's helping me say no a lot more. lol</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 243723, member: 4964"] Hey K...... Thanks for reading my post about Dude - Currently what I am attempting to do is pretend that Dude is NOT my kid. That he's someone I met, and (at 18) don't owe a thing to. Of course there is ALWAYS the nagging feeling in the back of my mind that if I do not do something he asks for then I'm going to be excommunicated from him. I think that's the part that I can't deal well with, so I tell myself again - IF this were not my son, but just an abusive person who treats me like carp unless it suits his project of the moment WOULD I...... give him a key to my house to do laundry? give him a key to my house to get on MY PERSONAL computer (ie all my information and my lifeline to the outside world, because you KNOW when you get it back, it's going to run like MUD because of porn (oh no that's just mine lol) My Space, downloading a ton of pirated songs that he will argue with me are LEGAL (OH NO THEY ARE NOT). and on and on Give him $5.00 so he could get a sandwhich? Yeah - I'd do that for anyone almost. ALLOW him to come to MY peaceful, mellow life and MESS it up because HE can not seem (despite my every insistance, help and creedo) to get his proverbial mess together? Nooooooooooooooo. In your mind when you feel like caving you can try the "My son is a stranger" deal in your head and treat him like someone you met in the post office parking lot.....it's helping me say no a lot more. lol [/QUOTE]
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