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I still have some hope that one day my difficult child will be the person I know he can be.  I see glimpses of that person from time to time, and I really like him.  I get discouraged at times, but I also know that I have been his biggest advocate when he was doing the right thing.  I have always made him accept the consequences for his choices.  I think that's all we can do as parents.  We can't "fix" anyone.  I like Covey's habit---Be Proactive.  We have to change how we react to things.  I know difficult child is going to mess up from time to time; I can't prevent him from making stupid choices.  I can't control him.  But I can detach and let go of any guilt I have for his choices.