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<blockquote data-quote="Sunlight" data-source="post: 83783" data-attributes="member: 97"><p>you are doing fine. we all have ways of giving advice, some gentle some more pointed. there was one time on this board I had hit bottom with ant and was asked to remove my post. (once more I had rescued him, brought him to my home, under the influence of drugs, he threatened his baby and me and I had to call the cops and testify in court against him. ) it hurt me deeply to reach out here and put it out there and be admonished. </p><p></p><p>at this point, I would say we all have to be more patient with you and one another. we all move at our own pace. pushing and prodding and then giving up on a poster because they do not jump at a command is not the way to go. a lil story:</p><p></p><p>yesterday I saw a counselor. this man is well known to me, a doctorate in psychology. his own 27 yr old son was a difficult child from day one. in fact he and his son had a fist fight in the local school where this man was teaching at the time. the psychologist knows all the right things to say and do. however his son went on to be a difficult child. he and his wife divorced as she was enabling, the counselor was frustrated. it went on. the difficult child son grew older and worked construction, had girls du jour, was tossed out of the home. he got hurt on the job and recovered but went on his difficult child ways.</p><p></p><p>six wks ago the son asked to once more live with the psychologist for three wks only til he got on his feet again. he works as a pizza delivery driver, drinks, stays out all hrs, throws cig butts in the yard, wont comply. the psychologist is throwing him back out and has given him a deadline. </p><p></p><p>I asked the doctor why he cannot fix his own son. he said he has told his son all he can, done what could be done, the son does not see the problem of his ways. he will help him but only when the son is ready for his advice. because the son is disruptive to the doctor's lifestyle he is once more going to be homeless. the doctor said a parent cannot help their own son in a situation such as this due to the love of the parent. it takes great effort to be unnatural and not nurture your own. </p><p></p><p>knowing this doctor for many yrs, knowing his son...I feel somewhat better that I, a lay person, could not help ant. knowing that the doctor has taken the son in and thrown him out a few times, I know we all are human and as parents do what we think best at the time. </p><p></p><p>by the way the counselor told me Kaleb should not have to see his dad in jail and neither should I. he helped me know it is ok to be mad, sad, whatever I have to feel. it is ok. I will figure this out and react the only way I can. </p><p></p><p>I can gather info and opinions and speak out to those here, but ultimately I MYSELF will decide the course I personally can handle. when I do make that decision, I would hope that those around me can still care about me, and be patient. your ways may not be the answer for me at that given time but I can listen and decide for MYSELF.</p><p></p><p></p><p>just asking that we all be more gentle with SWC and each other. if she continues to be berated for not doing as suggested, she may go away and sink even more into withdraw and stop reaching out all together to anyone anywhere... </p><p></p><p>and that would be a real shame.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sunlight, post: 83783, member: 97"] you are doing fine. we all have ways of giving advice, some gentle some more pointed. there was one time on this board I had hit bottom with ant and was asked to remove my post. (once more I had rescued him, brought him to my home, under the influence of drugs, he threatened his baby and me and I had to call the cops and testify in court against him. ) it hurt me deeply to reach out here and put it out there and be admonished. at this point, I would say we all have to be more patient with you and one another. we all move at our own pace. pushing and prodding and then giving up on a poster because they do not jump at a command is not the way to go. a lil story: yesterday I saw a counselor. this man is well known to me, a doctorate in psychology. his own 27 yr old son was a difficult child from day one. in fact he and his son had a fist fight in the local school where this man was teaching at the time. the psychologist knows all the right things to say and do. however his son went on to be a difficult child. he and his wife divorced as she was enabling, the counselor was frustrated. it went on. the difficult child son grew older and worked construction, had girls du jour, was tossed out of the home. he got hurt on the job and recovered but went on his difficult child ways. six wks ago the son asked to once more live with the psychologist for three wks only til he got on his feet again. he works as a pizza delivery driver, drinks, stays out all hrs, throws cig butts in the yard, wont comply. the psychologist is throwing him back out and has given him a deadline. I asked the doctor why he cannot fix his own son. he said he has told his son all he can, done what could be done, the son does not see the problem of his ways. he will help him but only when the son is ready for his advice. because the son is disruptive to the doctor's lifestyle he is once more going to be homeless. the doctor said a parent cannot help their own son in a situation such as this due to the love of the parent. it takes great effort to be unnatural and not nurture your own. knowing this doctor for many yrs, knowing his son...I feel somewhat better that I, a lay person, could not help ant. knowing that the doctor has taken the son in and thrown him out a few times, I know we all are human and as parents do what we think best at the time. by the way the counselor told me Kaleb should not have to see his dad in jail and neither should I. he helped me know it is ok to be mad, sad, whatever I have to feel. it is ok. I will figure this out and react the only way I can. I can gather info and opinions and speak out to those here, but ultimately I MYSELF will decide the course I personally can handle. when I do make that decision, I would hope that those around me can still care about me, and be patient. your ways may not be the answer for me at that given time but I can listen and decide for MYSELF. just asking that we all be more gentle with SWC and each other. if she continues to be berated for not doing as suggested, she may go away and sink even more into withdraw and stop reaching out all together to anyone anywhere... and that would be a real shame. [/QUOTE]
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