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General Parenting
Really, Am I Asking For Much?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 404601" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>The key here isn't that he isn't noticing, it is to teach him to notice. husband and I had a long hard road until I got that through his head. It almost destroyed our marriage because he couldn't understand what I thought the "big deal" with Wiz' thoughts and behaviors were and I was so hurt and angry because he ignored Wiz' rages/gfgness because I could "handle" it. </p><p> </p><p>In the future, call husband as soon as difficult child goes off on you. If husband is home, then he needs to be trained to come at the first sounds of a problem whenever it is possible. If difficult child goes off because you wanted him to do a chore, call husband and ask him to get difficult child to do the chore, or to help him calm down or whatever you want/need from husband. If we just go along and handle things with-o telling them that we need them to step in/support us/provide that united front, then we cannot really blame them for not stepping in. We let them (husband's) get away with it with griping after the fact but not really asking them to do what we need them to do.</p><p> </p><p>So next time, call husband before it gets to the 5 min mark. Be consistent with this with both husband and difficult child, and reward husband for coming and helping. That way he will begin to learn that an uproar is a crisis that both parents need to handle, NOT "normal stuff" that Mom can handle like she does the chores, etc... </p><p> </p><p>What you are asking is NOT too much, but it does require training of the husband if he has gone this far with-o really having to pay attention.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 404601, member: 1233"] The key here isn't that he isn't noticing, it is to teach him to notice. husband and I had a long hard road until I got that through his head. It almost destroyed our marriage because he couldn't understand what I thought the "big deal" with Wiz' thoughts and behaviors were and I was so hurt and angry because he ignored Wiz' rages/gfgness because I could "handle" it. In the future, call husband as soon as difficult child goes off on you. If husband is home, then he needs to be trained to come at the first sounds of a problem whenever it is possible. If difficult child goes off because you wanted him to do a chore, call husband and ask him to get difficult child to do the chore, or to help him calm down or whatever you want/need from husband. If we just go along and handle things with-o telling them that we need them to step in/support us/provide that united front, then we cannot really blame them for not stepping in. We let them (husband's) get away with it with griping after the fact but not really asking them to do what we need them to do. So next time, call husband before it gets to the 5 min mark. Be consistent with this with both husband and difficult child, and reward husband for coming and helping. That way he will begin to learn that an uproar is a crisis that both parents need to handle, NOT "normal stuff" that Mom can handle like she does the chores, etc... What you are asking is NOT too much, but it does require training of the husband if he has gone this far with-o really having to pay attention. [/QUOTE]
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