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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 490197" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Li - </p><p></p><p>It would be very easy for me to sit here and say "Well gosh tell him to blah blah blah and then you - do do do." Truth is, the year and a half I was unemployed? I had my medications for depression hiked up, and I didn't sleep, my heart raced, what little I did sleep? My mind had racing thoughts mostly about how I could make money or try to make money or try to keep us afloat, and the racing thoughts made me so tired, that when I did come to a state of consciousness; all I could do was get up, try to find something to eat - that I felt guilty for eating, and sit depressed - then fall asleep to get rid of the depression. It was one of the most vicious cycles. </p><p>It didn't help that my DF is disabled, and getting worse, and got more depressed watching me get depressed. lol - sounds like an even worse circle. But I worried about him and there he was worrying about me - which was making him feel worse because there wasn't anything he could do and that made him feel less than. Make sense? </p><p>So....at some point and I don't even know how - I sat down with him and said my peace about the sleep, the restlessness, the naps, the depression - and my worries. I told him I needed him to know that I was scared - because lets face it - in todays economy even the jobs at Subway are being snatched up by 4 year college graduates - and I was in competition with people 1/2 my age willing to work for minimum wage in a two earner household. At least they had two incomes. PRobably parents that could help out - if it got really bad. We had /have no one. </p><p></p><p>So in laying our cards on the table - we brainstormed, and I started going to the unemployment office, and checked out the Job connection at the Goodwill. I also got on line registration with the unemployment office and checked for jobs daily and did job fairs. I went through the unemployement office's WIA program and got a new career. I got my CDL license class A - now I'm a trucker. I went on, studied and got my hazmat and tankers endorsement, and now I'm studying for doubles and triples. Unfortunately - I can't go over the road - but I did find a job locally - and I do drive. The pay is not like a trucker pay that does go over the road - BUT....It is keeping the roof over our heads. </p><p></p><p>In the mean time - we went through the house, did flea markets- yard sales and sold a LOT of stuff we could live without - and started couponing madly. Freecycle, too. Hit the Goodwills - and some times even the foodbanks. </p><p></p><p>Not ideal - but manageable. When it was critical? We found programs to help with electric, and other utilities that are paid through the government. THey are out there - you have to find them in your area. We got our taxes done for free - and somehow - it works out. </p><p></p><p>The depression? Yeah - it's prevalent. I don't think anyone who has worked looks at staying at home as a vacation and goes OH BOY another day at home sleeping and not doing anything. BUT if it gets to that point? You should probably make some plans to have a talk. Not a yell-fest - but an adult conversation. </p><p></p><p>If there is anything YOU can do in the mean time? Babysit, draw, paint.bake, iron......tutor..to take in extra money - try it. If it doesn't work? stop it. </p><p></p><p>Give it a date in YOUR mind that you think there should be progress and if there isn't? THEN have a plan B for yourself. Just know that times are really tough out there and a lot of what I'm seeing is male pride.....I won't take a job at McDonalds......I won't take a job here - I won't take a job there. </p><p></p><p>The other thing I see - is that a lot of these people are better OFF on unemployement - between that and foodstamps - they're better off than getting a minimum wage job - and who can blame them? </p><p></p><p>Check WIA - Voc. rehab- and Goodwill job connection - they have training programs too. Also if he desires - He can always call Schneider Trucking and go to school, get a license - and be an OTR trucker =pay back the loan a little at a time - and be earning money in no time.....as little as three months. </p><p></p><p>Huigs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 490197, member: 4964"] Li - It would be very easy for me to sit here and say "Well gosh tell him to blah blah blah and then you - do do do." Truth is, the year and a half I was unemployed? I had my medications for depression hiked up, and I didn't sleep, my heart raced, what little I did sleep? My mind had racing thoughts mostly about how I could make money or try to make money or try to keep us afloat, and the racing thoughts made me so tired, that when I did come to a state of consciousness; all I could do was get up, try to find something to eat - that I felt guilty for eating, and sit depressed - then fall asleep to get rid of the depression. It was one of the most vicious cycles. It didn't help that my DF is disabled, and getting worse, and got more depressed watching me get depressed. lol - sounds like an even worse circle. But I worried about him and there he was worrying about me - which was making him feel worse because there wasn't anything he could do and that made him feel less than. Make sense? So....at some point and I don't even know how - I sat down with him and said my peace about the sleep, the restlessness, the naps, the depression - and my worries. I told him I needed him to know that I was scared - because lets face it - in todays economy even the jobs at Subway are being snatched up by 4 year college graduates - and I was in competition with people 1/2 my age willing to work for minimum wage in a two earner household. At least they had two incomes. PRobably parents that could help out - if it got really bad. We had /have no one. So in laying our cards on the table - we brainstormed, and I started going to the unemployment office, and checked out the Job connection at the Goodwill. I also got on line registration with the unemployment office and checked for jobs daily and did job fairs. I went through the unemployement office's WIA program and got a new career. I got my CDL license class A - now I'm a trucker. I went on, studied and got my hazmat and tankers endorsement, and now I'm studying for doubles and triples. Unfortunately - I can't go over the road - but I did find a job locally - and I do drive. The pay is not like a trucker pay that does go over the road - BUT....It is keeping the roof over our heads. In the mean time - we went through the house, did flea markets- yard sales and sold a LOT of stuff we could live without - and started couponing madly. Freecycle, too. Hit the Goodwills - and some times even the foodbanks. Not ideal - but manageable. When it was critical? We found programs to help with electric, and other utilities that are paid through the government. THey are out there - you have to find them in your area. We got our taxes done for free - and somehow - it works out. The depression? Yeah - it's prevalent. I don't think anyone who has worked looks at staying at home as a vacation and goes OH BOY another day at home sleeping and not doing anything. BUT if it gets to that point? You should probably make some plans to have a talk. Not a yell-fest - but an adult conversation. If there is anything YOU can do in the mean time? Babysit, draw, paint.bake, iron......tutor..to take in extra money - try it. If it doesn't work? stop it. Give it a date in YOUR mind that you think there should be progress and if there isn't? THEN have a plan B for yourself. Just know that times are really tough out there and a lot of what I'm seeing is male pride.....I won't take a job at McDonalds......I won't take a job here - I won't take a job there. The other thing I see - is that a lot of these people are better OFF on unemployement - between that and foodstamps - they're better off than getting a minimum wage job - and who can blame them? Check WIA - Voc. rehab- and Goodwill job connection - they have training programs too. Also if he desires - He can always call Schneider Trucking and go to school, get a license - and be an OTR trucker =pay back the loan a little at a time - and be earning money in no time.....as little as three months. Huigs [/QUOTE]
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