Warning Big Whine I've been up since 3 am. easy child 2 got up then. I thought laying down with her would help her go back to sleep. Nope, she fought me for 3 hours. I went back to sleep about 6 am to have nightmares. Soon after I got up to make pancakes with chocolate chips because the kids love them and difficult child 1 left today for an extended visit with X. X is dating again. Which makes sense of the last few e-mails I've gotten from him. They have basically been trying to get me to say that he isn't abusive and trying to emotionally blackmail me. Last Fri. difficult child 1 told case manager something about X getting angry with him but I wasn't in the room to hear exactly what it was. husband has stopped looking for jobs since mother in law left. He uses anything as an excuse to not look. I'm having a bad day so he doesn't go look for job. Funny thing is my days get worse and worse the less he does. I feel like I've been hit in the chest and had the wind knocked out of me. My heart also pounds. His job ends January 24th. The leads for jobs that he had didn't work out. Just had to put a new battery in one van and the other van won't start. It needs a new starter and that will be a few hundred dollars. We don't have enough to pay bills right now. Kids are getting Christmas from other people buying them presents. I'm using an open network for the internet. husband has insomnia and is always tired. Another reason he doesn't look for a job. He is getting kicked out of the house tomorrow to go look for jobs. I'm not going to let him use me as an excuse for not job hunting. Sorry this is a bit rambling.