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Substance Abuse
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 575571"><p>Oh PG. this may come across harshly and that is not my intent. But I think you are losing your perspective... And I totally understand WHY... concern for the baby and the live you have for your daughter & your grand baby. So I am not judging...please know that.</p><p></p><p>In my mind - You have two issues:</p><p></p><p> 1) you are not detaching from the addicts in your life. Both M and difficult child. In fact, you are attaching to them, and the understandable truth that you are doing it out if valid concern doesn't really matter. And they are bristling. And the more you try to control- the more they will react. You need to back away. You & difficult child have a history and a pattern- and you may trigger it by trying to be the problem solver & the baby's advocate. I know that your own pregnancy was a positive turning point in your life. I say this gently & with love- it may not be like that for her. And trying to push her into "there" may backfire. Please forgive me if I sound unkind.</p><p></p><p>2) ok, take a breath-- even in the best case scenario no pregnant daughter wants an overbearing mom and no sister in law appreciates a meddling mother in law. With difficult children, it's multiplied by 100. You need to let them find their way. I know it sucks and it's worrisome; I get it. Let them both know that you are available to them but they need to ASK. And stop volunteering info, advice, yourself... Know what I mean??</p><p></p><p>Hugs, hugs, hugs. You are between a rock and a hard place. You need to detach a bit. Let her know she needs help & treatment. And that's where you will help.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 575571"] Oh PG. this may come across harshly and that is not my intent. But I think you are losing your perspective... And I totally understand WHY... concern for the baby and the live you have for your daughter & your grand baby. So I am not judging...please know that. In my mind - You have two issues: 1) you are not detaching from the addicts in your life. Both M and difficult child. In fact, you are attaching to them, and the understandable truth that you are doing it out if valid concern doesn't really matter. And they are bristling. And the more you try to control- the more they will react. You need to back away. You & difficult child have a history and a pattern- and you may trigger it by trying to be the problem solver & the baby's advocate. I know that your own pregnancy was a positive turning point in your life. I say this gently & with love- it may not be like that for her. And trying to push her into "there" may backfire. Please forgive me if I sound unkind. 2) ok, take a breath-- even in the best case scenario no pregnant daughter wants an overbearing mom and no sister in law appreciates a meddling mother in law. With difficult children, it's multiplied by 100. You need to let them find their way. I know it sucks and it's worrisome; I get it. Let them both know that you are available to them but they need to ASK. And stop volunteering info, advice, yourself... Know what I mean?? Hugs, hugs, hugs. You are between a rock and a hard place. You need to detach a bit. Let her know she needs help & treatment. And that's where you will help. [/QUOTE]
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