And things are already going as one would think it would with addict difficult children... Since finding out difficult child and M are having a baby, I have jumped into mom mode. I took her to the various places she needed to go and apply for benefits. I have also been telling M what needs to be done so someone else knows besides just difficult child. difficult child is just not a motivated person. I have always had to poke and prod her to get things done. I figured I could now rely on him to poke and prod and ensure things are being done. Ha. He is taking it as lecturing. He is "overwhelmed". :/ So, Monday morning, difficult child calls me hysterical crying asking me to come there right away. That she was not staying with that a hole anymore. I asked her what happened and she said it didn't matter, please come. So of course I jump in my car and fly out there only to find that difficult child had an "episode". Apparently, she has been having these bi-polar episodes. I don't know if it is bi-polar, or withdrawals from quitting everything. M took a video of difficult child freaking out and asked if I wanted to watch. I didn't. He said he just grabbed her and hugged her and that is when she broke down in tears and calmed down. I told them both that she needs to see a doctor and be under the care of a doctor. She has medicaid - she needs to make an appointment. difficult child went to her medicaid appointment on Tuesday morning - they actually went on their own - and then she called me telling me he left her there. That he said he was not prepared and that she needs to "prepare" him before he goes or something crazy like that. Then tells me that I am making him mad with all of the judgements. (M and I were having a text conversation about difficult child and I had asked him if HE was clean, too, and he never answered. Maybe I overstepped a boundary? But I am concerned!!). She started yelling at me so I got mad and told her neither one of them is ready for a child and hung up. AND, I think he is still using. I have seen signs that show me that he is and I am terrified for that baby. He was talking a mile a minute on Monday. Now, I don't think SHE is. I have been keeping an eye on the phone records and she is not on it on all hours like she is when she is using. She hasn't even been smoking cigarettes. She has been sleeping A LOT. Almost all of the time... So, I check the phone records this morning and he has been texting her ALL night long. First of all, I don't know why they weren't together, but regardless, she has barely responded and he is texting her a storm - still. You can tell by looking at the records, that HE was up all night long. I am concerned. VERY concerned. I want her to go back to the program. I told her there she has access to places to work, doctors, the bus line - all in a sober environment. She was talking about going back to the program when I talked to them on Monday. They were both saying that it was a good idea. I have been hoping she would, but then she got mad at me on Tuesday and M texted me this yesterday: "Yeah she was ******. To be honest, I'm pretty ****** also. I appreciate that you are concerned for her and the baby but I wish you would calm down a little, maybe not as judgemental. It wears on me when you lecture me on what she should be doing and her on what I should be doing. I hope me saying this doesn't prompt you to go off on me. I would like to talk and clear the air on a few things soon. I don't want you to be upset with us, either." I wrote him back explaining my history with difficult child and how I was terrified and praying for peace. I need advice from you awesome people. How do I proceed?? Am I overstepping boundaries? What can I do if I am concerned about the environment?? difficult child coming here to have and raise the baby is not an option. husband would never allow it. We always said we wouldn't be those parents that get stuck raising their grandchild, but now that there is a real baby involved, I have to admit - my heart is more invested. But I also do know deep in my heart that no matter what, the program is a better place for her and where she needs to be...at least for now... Of course, they shouldn't even be having a baby, but nothing can be done about that now. I really, really don't think she will terminate the pregnancy...so now I have to figure out what I can do to protect that innocent life.