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Substance Abuse
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<blockquote data-quote="rejectedmom" data-source="post: 575614" data-attributes="member: 2315"><p>PG, you are in such a difficult position and it is not easy to know when to step in and when to back off. An innocent life has been thrown into the mix which adds so much more concern. You have recieved alot of good advice already. I think that your last response to your daughter was right on target. A difficult child will use a pregnancy/baby to manipulate and suck a parent right back into their drama. It is so very wrong but they do it anyway. </p><p></p><p>My therapist told me that under no circumstances should I ever allow my difficult child to do this. This was when he was activily trying to have a baby with his girlfriend. The therapist told me to never take his baby into my home because it would just make more and more problems setting the child up as a pawn and also putting me at additional risk (emotional, physical and financial). She said that I should just notify DSS of a baby who will need services at birth. </p><p></p><p>Having been a foster mom for 25 years to abused, neglected and battered infants and children, (that is how difficult child came to me in the first place), the concept of not stepping in was hard to swallow. I understood why she told me to do this but I am not sure how I would have done if the baby had been born. I know it would have been very hard to put the baby into the system wondering what kind of home he/she would get. I also know that I was an excellent foster mom and that there are many other good ones out there. Nevertheless it would be so very hard to make that decision. </p><p></p><p>I guess the best you can do at this time is to stay strong and keep a watchul eye while not entering into unnecessary drama..Easier said than done. (((HUGS))) -RM</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rejectedmom, post: 575614, member: 2315"] PG, you are in such a difficult position and it is not easy to know when to step in and when to back off. An innocent life has been thrown into the mix which adds so much more concern. You have recieved alot of good advice already. I think that your last response to your daughter was right on target. A difficult child will use a pregnancy/baby to manipulate and suck a parent right back into their drama. It is so very wrong but they do it anyway. My therapist told me that under no circumstances should I ever allow my difficult child to do this. This was when he was activily trying to have a baby with his girlfriend. The therapist told me to never take his baby into my home because it would just make more and more problems setting the child up as a pawn and also putting me at additional risk (emotional, physical and financial). She said that I should just notify DSS of a baby who will need services at birth. Having been a foster mom for 25 years to abused, neglected and battered infants and children, (that is how difficult child came to me in the first place), the concept of not stepping in was hard to swallow. I understood why she told me to do this but I am not sure how I would have done if the baby had been born. I know it would have been very hard to put the baby into the system wondering what kind of home he/she would get. I also know that I was an excellent foster mom and that there are many other good ones out there. Nevertheless it would be so very hard to make that decision. I guess the best you can do at this time is to stay strong and keep a watchul eye while not entering into unnecessary drama..Easier said than done. (((HUGS))) -RM [/QUOTE]
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