I know exactly how you are feeling right now, and I want to echo what the others have said that it CAN get better. Finding the right medication or combination of medications that your kids need can be tough, but once you find what works for them it will make things easier. For us, risperdal made a big difference in our difficult child's life, and consequently, the in the lives of the rest of the family. Is it perfect? No, and I have to admit that I have had a very hard time coming to terms with that, bit it's better and sometimes better is all that I can ask for.
