Hi there. I cannot believe I'm even on here typing this out. I have 2 children with-anxiety, ADHD with-ODD. I feel like I'm living in a nightmare every day of my life. My children are almost 8 and almost 10 and this has been going on for YEARS. I feel like I'm slowly coming undone by the chaos that is our life. Almost every day involves communicating mainly through screaming, crying, and tantrums. We've tried my son on a bunch of stimulants that were a bit helpful, but the side effects weren't tolerable. Currently, he's on Intuniv and we have an appointment. with-a child psychiatrist this week. My daughter has just been put on Risperdal by the child psychiatrist, which honestly, I see absolutely NO change. How long before it starts working? We see the dr. again this week and he was talking about adding in an ADHD medication and eventually some anxiety medication. At least my son can keep it together at school, but my daughter is having terrible issues at school. We've met with-the school and are initiating testing, etc.. We've already done that with her through our counsellor, but I guess now the school will start it officially on their end. I feel absolutely terrible about how I've been handling all this. I feel like the WORST parent. At some point after non-stop screaming, I lose it too and that probably just reinforces the terrible behavior. We try everything with-our kids. Reasoning, discussing, time-outs, rewards, you name it. NOTHING works. I'm petrified we won't be able to get these kids properly medicated. Last year, the thought of medication was so upsetting to me, but it just seems like things have gotten a thousand times worse lately (don't know how that's possible), and now I'm praying for the right drugs or combo to get these kids to just calm down and not explode all the time, every single day. I'm completely miserable and feeling very depressed. My husband feels that way too, but he's been seeming to keep it together a bit better - probably because he's not around them as much as I am. I'm open to any suggestions or thoughts. I feel awful saying this, but it's been really hard for me to like my children lately. I can't believe that BOTH my kids are this way. Even when one is in a good place, then the other one isn't. There's been no joy - just agony.