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Really Struggling Today
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<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 596608" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>That happens to me too, Welcome.</p><p></p><p>Whenever I have a day when it feels like I have myself in order, when it feels like I must have worked through everything and accepted the situation, something will come up, and I go through all the steps again ~ just on another, deeper level. I think these episodes are how we heal. We only give ourselves as much as we can handle. When we've worked through that, we let ourselves see and process other aspects of what has been lost or changed. As long as the issue is a new one, as long as I am not stuck grieving the same episodes over and over, I think this is a healthy process. </p><p></p><p>Though our children have survived, we are grieving a kind of death, here. We are grieving the loss of all the good things we believed were in store for our children, when they were little and we dreamed our dreams for them; when we dreamed our dreams of who and how they would be, as the years passed. We are grieving who we thought we would be, too. The reality of how things have turned out is a hard thing to accept. We need to be as compassionate with ourselves as we would be if we had really lost one of our children. Because, in a very real way, we have. Over time, we will heal. </p><p></p><p>Recovering posted to me once that if I could pray for my child and then, envision placing her in God's hands, I would find some comfort there. I did do that. I felt a little better, so I added myself in there, too.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>Maybe something like that will help you today, too?</p><p></p><p>Remember when Dr. Kubler-Ross (?) wrote that book about the stages of grief? I think those stages apply to us, too. There are five stages. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and...something else. The idea was that we go through those stages again and again. Oh! I know what the last one was. </p><p></p><p>Acceptance.</p><p></p><p>Anger, denial, bargaining, depression, acceptance.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry you are having a hard time today, Welcome.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 596608, member: 1721"] That happens to me too, Welcome. Whenever I have a day when it feels like I have myself in order, when it feels like I must have worked through everything and accepted the situation, something will come up, and I go through all the steps again ~ just on another, deeper level. I think these episodes are how we heal. We only give ourselves as much as we can handle. When we've worked through that, we let ourselves see and process other aspects of what has been lost or changed. As long as the issue is a new one, as long as I am not stuck grieving the same episodes over and over, I think this is a healthy process. Though our children have survived, we are grieving a kind of death, here. We are grieving the loss of all the good things we believed were in store for our children, when they were little and we dreamed our dreams for them; when we dreamed our dreams of who and how they would be, as the years passed. We are grieving who we thought we would be, too. The reality of how things have turned out is a hard thing to accept. We need to be as compassionate with ourselves as we would be if we had really lost one of our children. Because, in a very real way, we have. Over time, we will heal. Recovering posted to me once that if I could pray for my child and then, envision placing her in God's hands, I would find some comfort there. I did do that. I felt a little better, so I added myself in there, too. :O) Maybe something like that will help you today, too? Remember when Dr. Kubler-Ross (?) wrote that book about the stages of grief? I think those stages apply to us, too. There are five stages. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and...something else. The idea was that we go through those stages again and again. Oh! I know what the last one was. Acceptance. Anger, denial, bargaining, depression, acceptance. I am sorry you are having a hard time today, Welcome. Barbara [/QUOTE]
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