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Really Struggling Today
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<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 596613" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>Another thing I found helpful: When our son got into drugs, there was such a long time that we never heard a thing from him. When we did hear from him, he was angry and filled with hatred. I missed my son just the way you are describing missing yours. His laughter, his sense of humor, the way he smelled... (Drakkar ~ I still love that scent.) Our son did recover. He is fine, today. But during those years, I found it helped me to both acknowledge and then, put the grief aside so I could function in my life by creating a sort of focusing tool.</p><p></p><p>A grief focusing tool, I suppose you could say.</p><p></p><p>Find something that represents your son, to you. Something small, something you can put away in a drawer. (That part is important.) When I would find myself feeling that overwhelming stuff again, I would go to the drawer. I would take the item out of its box, unwrap it, and let myself cry or rage or whatever it was I needed to do. Then, I would wrap the item, put it back in its box, and put it in the drawer. Knowing it was there, knowing that I had created a place and would, whenever I needed to, give myself time to let those feelings have at me, enabled me to have some control over them.</p><p></p><p>Hope it helps you, too.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 596613, member: 1721"] Another thing I found helpful: When our son got into drugs, there was such a long time that we never heard a thing from him. When we did hear from him, he was angry and filled with hatred. I missed my son just the way you are describing missing yours. His laughter, his sense of humor, the way he smelled... (Drakkar ~ I still love that scent.) Our son did recover. He is fine, today. But during those years, I found it helped me to both acknowledge and then, put the grief aside so I could function in my life by creating a sort of focusing tool. A grief focusing tool, I suppose you could say. Find something that represents your son, to you. Something small, something you can put away in a drawer. (That part is important.) When I would find myself feeling that overwhelming stuff again, I would go to the drawer. I would take the item out of its box, unwrap it, and let myself cry or rage or whatever it was I needed to do. Then, I would wrap the item, put it back in its box, and put it in the drawer. Knowing it was there, knowing that I had created a place and would, whenever I needed to, give myself time to let those feelings have at me, enabled me to have some control over them. Hope it helps you, too. Barbara [/QUOTE]
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