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General Parenting
Really struggling with mother in law and father in law and need some advice
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 366791" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>If you can sound confident and consistent to your in-laws, they are more likely to shut up and back off. It is when (in your determination to remain polite, perhaps) that you come across as uncertain or deferential, tat they will rush forward to assure you with their own advice. Learn the body language and voice inflection to sound assured. You need it with your kids, you need it with your in-laws. So project your voice (no need to shout, just don't sound breathy) and AVOID RISING INFLECTIONS in your voice. That means don't sound like you're always asking a question/ Instead, let your pitch drop at the end of every sentence.</p><p></p><p>Or maybe that's an Aussie thing... but it drives me mad, and makes people sound very unsure. Women are worst. I leant on my girls especially, to stop the rising inflection.</p><p></p><p>Typical teen female conversation.</p><p>"Hey, ya know Rhondda? Her & I went to the shops today? And we saw a lovely white dress in the shop? And Rhondda wanted to get it? She likes that colour, ya know? So she went to the bank? But there wasn't enough money in her account? So they gave her forms for a credit card?..."</p><p></p><p>It always sounds like they're asking permission to have any opinion at all, and the older generation especially, respond to it with determined assurance that they know better and can help you find your way back to the Right Way to Do Things...</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 366791, member: 1991"] If you can sound confident and consistent to your in-laws, they are more likely to shut up and back off. It is when (in your determination to remain polite, perhaps) that you come across as uncertain or deferential, tat they will rush forward to assure you with their own advice. Learn the body language and voice inflection to sound assured. You need it with your kids, you need it with your in-laws. So project your voice (no need to shout, just don't sound breathy) and AVOID RISING INFLECTIONS in your voice. That means don't sound like you're always asking a question/ Instead, let your pitch drop at the end of every sentence. Or maybe that's an Aussie thing... but it drives me mad, and makes people sound very unsure. Women are worst. I leant on my girls especially, to stop the rising inflection. Typical teen female conversation. "Hey, ya know Rhondda? Her & I went to the shops today? And we saw a lovely white dress in the shop? And Rhondda wanted to get it? She likes that colour, ya know? So she went to the bank? But there wasn't enough money in her account? So they gave her forms for a credit card?..." It always sounds like they're asking permission to have any opinion at all, and the older generation especially, respond to it with determined assurance that they know better and can help you find your way back to the Right Way to Do Things... Marg [/QUOTE]
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Really struggling with mother in law and father in law and need some advice
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