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Parent Emeritus
Rebellious Obedience ...from a distance of course... because they're Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 378531"><p>I certainly think Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is a serious issue for kids who are adopted when they are older. I also think that a kid who was adopted at birth can still have major adoption issues that are not actually Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). I think this is true of my son. We adopted him when he was 4 days old. I believe he was very attached to us as a little boy and i can think of many examples of that. I also think though he was much more insecure than my daughter (who is also adopted). Many more fears as a child, much harder time with separation etc. I think adolescence brings in a host of issues for adopted kids because they are trying to figure out who they are and lets face it genetic history is a part of who we are. I am also struck by how many kids who were adopted have problems as teens... you see this in the numbers in therapeutic schools, and even on this board it seems like a disproportionate number of kids were adopted. So I do think adoption issues are a big issue for a lot of kids.... and not so much for others. I don't think we can call all of it Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) though.</p><p></p><p>I have come to realize that I can live with my son hating me for the rest of his life and choosing not to have a relationship with me. I definitely don't want that. Yet if he is a productive member of society then I can accept that. I have a much harder time with the idea of him not making it at all. I do hope, and I think it is very possible maybe even likely, that when he grows up a little, is truly independent that he will come back to me in an emotional way. He is here now physically but I don't think either one of us would describe our relationship as close at this point. I want that back some day and still hold out hope that it will happen once he is really on his own.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 378531"] I certainly think Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is a serious issue for kids who are adopted when they are older. I also think that a kid who was adopted at birth can still have major adoption issues that are not actually Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). I think this is true of my son. We adopted him when he was 4 days old. I believe he was very attached to us as a little boy and i can think of many examples of that. I also think though he was much more insecure than my daughter (who is also adopted). Many more fears as a child, much harder time with separation etc. I think adolescence brings in a host of issues for adopted kids because they are trying to figure out who they are and lets face it genetic history is a part of who we are. I am also struck by how many kids who were adopted have problems as teens... you see this in the numbers in therapeutic schools, and even on this board it seems like a disproportionate number of kids were adopted. So I do think adoption issues are a big issue for a lot of kids.... and not so much for others. I don't think we can call all of it Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) though. I have come to realize that I can live with my son hating me for the rest of his life and choosing not to have a relationship with me. I definitely don't want that. Yet if he is a productive member of society then I can accept that. I have a much harder time with the idea of him not making it at all. I do hope, and I think it is very possible maybe even likely, that when he grows up a little, is truly independent that he will come back to me in an emotional way. He is here now physically but I don't think either one of us would describe our relationship as close at this point. I want that back some day and still hold out hope that it will happen once he is really on his own. [/QUOTE]
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Rebellious Obedience ...from a distance of course... because they're Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)
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