It's over a year since I've seen difficult child-daughter face to face. It's almost a year since I've seen difficult child-ds face to face. There is a full range of every kind of emotion you can imagine. Their behavior is "classic" Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). He-inhibited Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)/ She-disinhibited Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). I find it interesting that they each have made a distinct point in their rebellion against us to take extra steps be excessively more-than obedient to things they absolutely REFUSED to do while they were living at our home. When difficult child-daughter dropped out of college after one semester out of state, my husband and I said the ONLY option that was unacceptable to us while she was living in our home as a young adult was a part-time job or no job and a full-time social life. I hear through the grapevine difficult child-daughter has been burning the candle at both ends while living in the home of the people "playing mommy and daddy" to her. Supposedly she's enrolled full-time in college and simultaneously working a full-time job. The young lady who pitched full fledged tantrums about her "rights" to party... is now so busy she supposedly has no social life. We had been encouraging our difficult child-ds while he lived in our home to find a reliable part-time job while he was in school. He had been working various odd-jobs for a dysfunctional family of very shady characters. We had been encouraging him to apply locally to legit employers. There are lots of businesses within walking distance of our home!!!! We especially recommended he apply to a place just around the corner where the manager seemed impressed by him. While he lived with us he REFUSED to even investigate that place as a possibility. Imagine my husband's surprise when he walked into that establishment and our difficult child-ds was the one working at the counter!!!! What is even more interesting is difficult child-ds now lives MILES away from that establishment with a couple "playing mommy and daddy" to him. I'm amazed by the amount of EXTRA-EFFORT poured forth by both our adopted-Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)-adult-KIDS trying to prove they are walking in obedience while they are rebelling against us as their parents I know they have an attachment disorder. I know they are intelligent, and we have taught them to be polite and diligent. Because they were born drug/alcohol exposed, and various caregivers failed to give consistent nurturing care between from the time they were born until they were ages 2.5-6 and placed in our loving home... what they cannot easily do is remain attached lovingly to the family that loves them. It's hard to have "warm fuzzy" feelings toward adult-children who have been so hateful and abusive toward us. I know it's not personal. It's Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). We don't have the warm fuzzies, but we DO love them. I take their "rebellious-distant-obedience" as an effort (a strange but twisted kind of effort) to "honor" us through extraordinary efforts to do what they refused to do when they lived in our home.