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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 623510" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>How do you see the shield, BITS? I was always so busy trying to be strong, even in my own heart, where it matters most. It wasn't until I was really strong, until I was strong enough to feel what it felt like to be so accused, to be so stupidly, purposefully misunderstood, that I began to thaw out.</p><p></p><p>Before you came to us here on the site, Recovering worked through so much of this with me. I posted once about an old Frankenstein movie. Poor Frankenstein had been chased into a cave by the angry, torch-wielding villagers. He froze to death there, BITS. In the way of all Frankensteins though...he wanted to live, wanted to be alive, again. The scene I posted about was one in which, somehow, sun began to shine, little by little by little, into the cave where Frankenstein had chosen to numb and then, to freeze himself solid so no one could hurt him, ever again. So no one could label him, could lie about who he was and what his value was, so no one could justify chasing him ~ so no one could make him believe, in his own secret heart, where it matters, that it was right to chase him, that they were right to want to kill him with their torches and pitchforks and hatred.</p><p></p><p>The first sign of awakening was a tear. </p><p></p><p>One tear, sparkling in the sun as it slid down poor, frozen Frankenstein's cheek.</p><p></p><p>Frankenstein opens his eyes.</p><p></p><p>And begins to scream, because the horror of what happened to him is too much...but if he wants to live, if he wants to be alive, Frankenstein has to face what they told him about his value, about who he was.</p><p></p><p>And he has to relearn himself, BITS.</p><p></p><p>He has to face it, and face it down.</p><p></p><p>I saw that movie on an old show called "Shock Theater." I was like, six when I watched it. I never forgot that imagery, that tear, that wish for legitimacy and life.</p><p></p><p>Here is a quote for you, BITS. I may be overstepping every boundary, here. You deserve to be cherished and nurtured and held safe, while you heal. However this turns out, BITS? Know that I wish you every good thing, every kindness, every success, as you work through this. </p><p></p><p>You did nothing wrong, BITS. It is the situation that is the hard thing. You have behaved with courage and integrity, and that is a harder thing.</p><p></p><p>But you are doing it.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>So, here is the quote:</p><p></p><p>"Once my fancy was soothed with dreams of virtue, of fame and of enjoyment. Once I falsely hoped to meet with beings who, pardoning my outward form, would love me for the excellent qualities I was capable of unfolding."</p><p></p><p>Frankenstein's Monster Speaks</p><p>Shelley</p><p></p><p><u>The Jesus Incident</u></p><p>Frank Herbert / Bill Ransom</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 623510, member: 17461"] How do you see the shield, BITS? I was always so busy trying to be strong, even in my own heart, where it matters most. It wasn't until I was really strong, until I was strong enough to feel what it felt like to be so accused, to be so stupidly, purposefully misunderstood, that I began to thaw out. Before you came to us here on the site, Recovering worked through so much of this with me. I posted once about an old Frankenstein movie. Poor Frankenstein had been chased into a cave by the angry, torch-wielding villagers. He froze to death there, BITS. In the way of all Frankensteins though...he wanted to live, wanted to be alive, again. The scene I posted about was one in which, somehow, sun began to shine, little by little by little, into the cave where Frankenstein had chosen to numb and then, to freeze himself solid so no one could hurt him, ever again. So no one could label him, could lie about who he was and what his value was, so no one could justify chasing him ~ so no one could make him believe, in his own secret heart, where it matters, that it was right to chase him, that they were right to want to kill him with their torches and pitchforks and hatred. The first sign of awakening was a tear. One tear, sparkling in the sun as it slid down poor, frozen Frankenstein's cheek. Frankenstein opens his eyes. And begins to scream, because the horror of what happened to him is too much...but if he wants to live, if he wants to be alive, Frankenstein has to face what they told him about his value, about who he was. And he has to relearn himself, BITS. He has to face it, and face it down. I saw that movie on an old show called "Shock Theater." I was like, six when I watched it. I never forgot that imagery, that tear, that wish for legitimacy and life. Here is a quote for you, BITS. I may be overstepping every boundary, here. You deserve to be cherished and nurtured and held safe, while you heal. However this turns out, BITS? Know that I wish you every good thing, every kindness, every success, as you work through this. You did nothing wrong, BITS. It is the situation that is the hard thing. You have behaved with courage and integrity, and that is a harder thing. But you are doing it. :O) So, here is the quote: "Once my fancy was soothed with dreams of virtue, of fame and of enjoyment. Once I falsely hoped to meet with beings who, pardoning my outward form, would love me for the excellent qualities I was capable of unfolding." Frankenstein's Monster Speaks Shelley [U]The Jesus Incident[/U] Frank Herbert / Bill Ransom Cedar [/QUOTE]
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