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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 344489" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>We made my daughter leave at 18 due to repeated drug use and legal messes and the fact that we had two younger kids who had to see the cops handcuff her and her screaming. We didn't make a plan for her...she just needed to leave. We knew she had (ahem) friends she could hang out with. She was lucky. Her older brother was willing to take her in as long as she followed his rules. He was strict and very straight. She DID listen to him and quit using drugs, but...</p><p></p><p>Did I feel like a bad parent? Is the Pope Catholic? <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> I had put her through a divorce and a remarriage and she didn't like my hub, although he tried hard to be nice to her. Still, she had totally freaked out after the divorce. Then we moved out of state and she needed to start over again. Even as I type this, I think that all of this contributed to her breaking down. Plus, she was adopted and didn't need another family breakup and or a new stepfather. And she didn't need to move, as she is shy. That set up everything. But, as SHE tells me now, "You did the right thing. If you would have stayed with Dad I wouldn't have respected you." It took until her 20's though for her to realize it, and I STILL feel guilty at times. She wouldn't speak to me at all for a long time and it broke my heart. I loved her, which is one reason I'd made her go. I didn't want to enable her. I was afraid she'd kill herself with drugs.</p><p></p><p>I cried for three straight weeks.</p><p></p><p>I know how you are feeling and offer you my empathy and understanding. It's very hard, I know.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 344489, member: 1550"] We made my daughter leave at 18 due to repeated drug use and legal messes and the fact that we had two younger kids who had to see the cops handcuff her and her screaming. We didn't make a plan for her...she just needed to leave. We knew she had (ahem) friends she could hang out with. She was lucky. Her older brother was willing to take her in as long as she followed his rules. He was strict and very straight. She DID listen to him and quit using drugs, but... Did I feel like a bad parent? Is the Pope Catholic? ;) I had put her through a divorce and a remarriage and she didn't like my hub, although he tried hard to be nice to her. Still, she had totally freaked out after the divorce. Then we moved out of state and she needed to start over again. Even as I type this, I think that all of this contributed to her breaking down. Plus, she was adopted and didn't need another family breakup and or a new stepfather. And she didn't need to move, as she is shy. That set up everything. But, as SHE tells me now, "You did the right thing. If you would have stayed with Dad I wouldn't have respected you." It took until her 20's though for her to realize it, and I STILL feel guilty at times. She wouldn't speak to me at all for a long time and it broke my heart. I loved her, which is one reason I'd made her go. I didn't want to enable her. I was afraid she'd kill herself with drugs. I cried for three straight weeks. I know how you are feeling and offer you my empathy and understanding. It's very hard, I know. [/QUOTE]
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