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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 270632" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>Susan, you are not the first one who has worried about rain and cold and where are they sleeping. But your son is not a child and he is living <em>his</em> life how <em>he </em>chooses to. You <em>have to</em> let it go for both of you. Does your mother approve of every single thing that you did since you moved out of her home? Did you ever tell her to butt out (or want to tell her to butt out) when she told you about all of the mistakes you were making? Or maybe you did something just to spite her.</p><p></p><p>I think that you have no idea of how powerful you are in your son's life. Your disapproval at his age is a mighty weapon that he is fighting against with rebellion. And where does your disapproval get you? While you have made improvements when you let things go, I don't see that anything you did or didn't do over the time you have been here has made one lick of difference in your son's behavior. Other than that at times you have enabled him in his drug seeking, which is not in either of your self-interests.</p><p></p><p>I really was helped by doing counted cross stitch. It helped to break up my train of thought when I was obsessing. You start with a blank canvass and a pattern that has the different colored threads represented by different on a grid. Of course, just setting up the canvass and the threads takes about 2 hours. You have to count the symbols on the pattern, then count the holes in the canvass, and do that many stitches. It takes concentration, so you really can't get all involved in some other thought, and even if you find yourself doing that, you can't get up and make phone calls or whatever because you will lose your place if you don't stop at a logical stopping place.</p><p></p><p>Please stop thinking about what he is doing and where he is doing it. I guarantee you that he doesn't give a rip about what you do for yourself or where you do it. Set yourself free.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 270632, member: 99"] Susan, you are not the first one who has worried about rain and cold and where are they sleeping. But your son is not a child and he is living [I]his[/I] life how [I]he [/I]chooses to. You [I]have to[/I] let it go for both of you. Does your mother approve of every single thing that you did since you moved out of her home? Did you ever tell her to butt out (or want to tell her to butt out) when she told you about all of the mistakes you were making? Or maybe you did something just to spite her. I think that you have no idea of how powerful you are in your son's life. Your disapproval at his age is a mighty weapon that he is fighting against with rebellion. And where does your disapproval get you? While you have made improvements when you let things go, I don't see that anything you did or didn't do over the time you have been here has made one lick of difference in your son's behavior. Other than that at times you have enabled him in his drug seeking, which is not in either of your self-interests. I really was helped by doing counted cross stitch. It helped to break up my train of thought when I was obsessing. You start with a blank canvass and a pattern that has the different colored threads represented by different on a grid. Of course, just setting up the canvass and the threads takes about 2 hours. You have to count the symbols on the pattern, then count the holes in the canvass, and do that many stitches. It takes concentration, so you really can't get all involved in some other thought, and even if you find yourself doing that, you can't get up and make phone calls or whatever because you will lose your place if you don't stop at a logical stopping place. Please stop thinking about what he is doing and where he is doing it. I guarantee you that he doesn't give a rip about what you do for yourself or where you do it. Set yourself free. [/QUOTE]
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