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Substance Abuse
Rehab, drugs and fighting
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<blockquote data-quote="Rotsne" data-source="post: 234855" data-attributes="member: 6326"><p>First the parents needs to level or the child would shop where he gets the best conditions.</p><p> </p><p>Second he needs to accept that he has a problem or your money is wasted. No human can fix a problem they are not acknowledging.</p><p> </p><p>Third it is the community which seem to be the big enabler in your case. If he cannot walk anywhere among peers without seeing groups of youth where he is accepted as he is. All he should do is joining their drinking or drug use. It takes unique boy to avoid being taken into that peer group.</p><p> </p><p>I dont think that the first priority is rehab. The first priority is for him to get out of town. Do you have family in another state? Send him on vacation there.</p><p> </p><p>Next you get into real marriage counseling. You need to write down a house contract with all the rules you want in your home, so when your son returns, he returns to a house with clear boundaries. He can not fight an addiction when the foundation under his feet is rocky. </p><p> </p><p>Professionel soldiers in my country fighting the 11'th Christian crusade in Afghanistan are able to hit a target as little as a matchbox 500 feet away. They did a test. Blindfolded they were able to do the same. Placed on a table where some of their mates rocked the table they were not. Your son deserves clear rules he can rest on while fighting the addiction off.</p><p> </p><p>When you and your husband has made the house contract, your son can return. From then on it is your way or the highway. If he choose the highway, which can be his room with a mattress and blanket only with 3 meals per day, you can ask him if he is ready for rehab. Once he agrees you can start looking.</p><p> </p><p>What would happen if you found a rehab tomorrow and he went there. He will phone or write you with one kind of plea, then your husband with another plea. How long do you think it would take for one of you to pull him? Hours, days, weeks?</p><p> </p><p>Thats why I recommend that you take a totally other approach to this situation.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Rotsne, post: 234855, member: 6326"] First the parents needs to level or the child would shop where he gets the best conditions. Second he needs to accept that he has a problem or your money is wasted. No human can fix a problem they are not acknowledging. Third it is the community which seem to be the big enabler in your case. If he cannot walk anywhere among peers without seeing groups of youth where he is accepted as he is. All he should do is joining their drinking or drug use. It takes unique boy to avoid being taken into that peer group. I dont think that the first priority is rehab. The first priority is for him to get out of town. Do you have family in another state? Send him on vacation there. Next you get into real marriage counseling. You need to write down a house contract with all the rules you want in your home, so when your son returns, he returns to a house with clear boundaries. He can not fight an addiction when the foundation under his feet is rocky. Professionel soldiers in my country fighting the 11'th Christian crusade in Afghanistan are able to hit a target as little as a matchbox 500 feet away. They did a test. Blindfolded they were able to do the same. Placed on a table where some of their mates rocked the table they were not. Your son deserves clear rules he can rest on while fighting the addiction off. When you and your husband has made the house contract, your son can return. From then on it is your way or the highway. If he choose the highway, which can be his room with a mattress and blanket only with 3 meals per day, you can ask him if he is ready for rehab. Once he agrees you can start looking. What would happen if you found a rehab tomorrow and he went there. He will phone or write you with one kind of plea, then your husband with another plea. How long do you think it would take for one of you to pull him? Hours, days, weeks? Thats why I recommend that you take a totally other approach to this situation. [/QUOTE]
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