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<blockquote data-quote="bluebell" data-source="post: 710896" data-attributes="member: 16761"><p>RN,</p><p>You mentioned your son's therapist saying he was stuck at 15. My son's also said he was stuck at 14 when he was in the psychiatric hospital at 17 and couldn't give a mental diagnosis because of all the drugs in his system and his history. I just wanted to chime in and tell you I've been processing this a lot lately since my son is back home. I see no difference in anything compared to when he was 14. Sure, he got his GED and his driver's license and kept a job for a year, but he probably could have done those things at 14 sober. I was going thru some old videos and I found A's 14th birthday party. He is EXACTLY the same kid. Everyone else has changed greatly. We are all 7 years older. My 10 year old daughter who doted on him and hung on his shoulder is now a self absorbed 17 year old, who although not prepared, is desperately planning her escape to a one bedroom apartment to call her own. Isn't that what we expected? For our kids to be hell bent on independence and us trying to hold them back for one more day? Not stuck at the maturity level of an adolescent. </p><p>I also think what Kathy says is right. My son wouldn't go to IOP. The excuse he gave was all the 'old people'. There are no people his age in the programs here, I'm sure in Florida it is different and that could really help. I really think our sons are at a crossroads that they are not quite ready for. I don't think my son will make it to be an 30 year old in rehab. But he might, and by the looks of it he will be in good company. It is just hard for us to imagine doing this for that long. I think that is where detachment comes in and RN, you are further down that road than I. I'm praying for your son. And for you and hoping that you find some rest and peace <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="bluebell, post: 710896, member: 16761"] RN, You mentioned your son's therapist saying he was stuck at 15. My son's also said he was stuck at 14 when he was in the psychiatric hospital at 17 and couldn't give a mental diagnosis because of all the drugs in his system and his history. I just wanted to chime in and tell you I've been processing this a lot lately since my son is back home. I see no difference in anything compared to when he was 14. Sure, he got his GED and his driver's license and kept a job for a year, but he probably could have done those things at 14 sober. I was going thru some old videos and I found A's 14th birthday party. He is EXACTLY the same kid. Everyone else has changed greatly. We are all 7 years older. My 10 year old daughter who doted on him and hung on his shoulder is now a self absorbed 17 year old, who although not prepared, is desperately planning her escape to a one bedroom apartment to call her own. Isn't that what we expected? For our kids to be hell bent on independence and us trying to hold them back for one more day? Not stuck at the maturity level of an adolescent. I also think what Kathy says is right. My son wouldn't go to IOP. The excuse he gave was all the 'old people'. There are no people his age in the programs here, I'm sure in Florida it is different and that could really help. I really think our sons are at a crossroads that they are not quite ready for. I don't think my son will make it to be an 30 year old in rehab. But he might, and by the looks of it he will be in good company. It is just hard for us to imagine doing this for that long. I think that is where detachment comes in and RN, you are further down that road than I. I'm praying for your son. And for you and hoping that you find some rest and peace :) [/QUOTE]
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