I am very sad today. Yesterday my son checked into detox. He had been doing very well for several months. He had been doing things for himself this past year while away that he'd never done at home. I knew something was going on. He had taken about $250 out of an account a few weeks ago without permission. I posted about that. Felt pills had to be involved. He said it was alcohol. But that is just not "him". Had a feeling in my gut. He had a flat tire Sunday, called husband about it. Had never changed a flat. Husband walked him through it and that was that. Yesterday husband called to follow up. Tire not changed. Did a FaceTime and tire was more like shredded! Told son to take care of and call him back. He could not get a hold of him the rest of the afternoon which is not like him. Coincidentally I emailed his orthodontist to ask about payment and they mentioned he did not show up for appointment yesterday. Red Flag. I then texted his girlfriend that we were concerned he was using. She confirmed he was in process of checking into detox. OMG. Again. Right back where we were a year ago. She told me he got Klonopin from a doctor there. He knows he can't take benzos. Period. She found him inhaling duster yesterday. First day of that she said. OMG did not even know what that was! She says he wanted to go to detox. Does not want to live that lifestyle. Rinse and repeat. He told her he was depressed because he misses ME and his dogs. I told her that when he lived with us and me and dogs and everything else life could offer he said he did drugs because "he wasn't doing things other 20 year olds are doing". Well he now was doing just that. It this was former me that statement would have put me over the edge but I know it's just an excuse. Husband and I are in shock I think. Not sure of next move. Believe he has to go to sober living and pay his own way from now on. He has a big mess to clean up this time. Class he's taking, job, apartment. I'm trying not to think about all of that. It's really in God's hands.