M did not make me go with him this morning. Sigh. But my moral code makes it such that I have to work today. After all, I am newly Germany.
So as much as I would like to devote myself to laze here in the bed reading and posting. I must not.
Cedar, how was your martial arts class last night? Have you settled in completely in the house? Thank you Cedar for all of the hard work you are doing here.
New Leaf, I am living with the two Advanced Fashion/Fashionista videos inside me. Thank you.
Feeling, it is your Friday. (I have been living a continuous weekend.) Time to relax and do something fun.
My son I fear is angling to come home (again). M said, if that should be the case he will move to the other house.
I have been trying to suppress the growing awareness that this is son's aim, but it is no longer possible to deny.
Last night he called. First he mentioned the hospital where the liver clinic is is having a free liver biopsy event. He said he is going.
He also said he learned from a contact at the Army Recruiter's office that American troops will be entering Syria. (Indeed it is being announced this morning.) He believes this is (another) end times. He said: Don't you think we are better off together when the end comes?
After first asking him if he was planning to enlist in the Army,
I said, while I hope you are with me when I die, I do not expect my death to come soon. Nor do I expect it to come at the time and circumstances that I can predictably envision.
But more importantly, I do not choose to live in a way that is determined by anticipating all of the ways I could die. How and when I die is beyond my control. I seek to live in a way that I define, that I can control to the extent I am able. I hope you do the same. Live in a way that is defined by your hopes and your strengths, not fear and powerlessness.
So he responded something like: My mind is a mess, or sucks, or something like that. Why do I keep doing that?
Me: Because you fill your head with garbage.
You recognize that by eating properly, no refined carbs and olive oil, and good quality vegetables and fruits and proteins, you sustain and repair your body and your strength. It is the same with your mind.
If you use it for constructive pursuits, studying, learning (about useful and productive things and communicate with others who do the same, your thoughts will be hopeful, plentiful and meaningful, creative and productive.
He had to leave the phone very quickly.
I think he is thinking of alternative living situations because rent is due in one day. He does not want to pay that $500. To avoid doing so he is prepared to resume a degrading and horrible life here in my town or one like it.
A few days ago he volunteered to move back to the homeless shelter in a town 45 minutes away (he hated it and was kicked out) so that he could give me half of his check to help pay for the cat's teeth.
What an idiot.
COPA
