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Family of Origin
Relationship Patterns / Dysfunctional FOO Issues
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<blockquote data-quote="Feeling Sad" data-source="post: 671147" data-attributes="member: 19245"><p>I agree with Cedar. Your relationship dynamics are changing...your 'dance' is being altered, albeit in a positive way. </p><p></p><p>Two things come to mind. First of all, he is seeing these good changes in you and wants them to continue ...faster. He perceives any step 'backwards' as stopping...possibly forever. He wants to keep the momentum going. He is not fully perceiving the difficulty for you. You cannot just flip a switch and go, "Presto chango!"</p><p></p><p>He needs to be very patient with you and lose the daily petty criticisms. Those hurt you to the core.</p><p></p><p>Secondly, I have heard when couples retire at the same time, they often start to bicker. They are not used to being together all of the time.</p><p></p><p>He is used to going out alone. Now, although it is very wonderful for you...you are now in his perceived 'space' and he finds this strange or even threatening. He is grouchy about the primer because he wants it done quickly and the way that he would have done it.</p><p></p><p>Bottom line...NO ABUSE IS ALLOWED. This means physical, verbal, or emotional abuse.</p><p></p><p>Talk with him that you know that he loves you and explain how it makes you feel when he us critical, short, or grabs you. Let him know that it will never be tolerated!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Feeling Sad, post: 671147, member: 19245"] I agree with Cedar. Your relationship dynamics are changing...your 'dance' is being altered, albeit in a positive way. Two things come to mind. First of all, he is seeing these good changes in you and wants them to continue ...faster. He perceives any step 'backwards' as stopping...possibly forever. He wants to keep the momentum going. He is not fully perceiving the difficulty for you. You cannot just flip a switch and go, "Presto chango!" He needs to be very patient with you and lose the daily petty criticisms. Those hurt you to the core. Secondly, I have heard when couples retire at the same time, they often start to bicker. They are not used to being together all of the time. He is used to going out alone. Now, although it is very wonderful for you...you are now in his perceived 'space' and he finds this strange or even threatening. He is grouchy about the primer because he wants it done quickly and the way that he would have done it. Bottom line...NO ABUSE IS ALLOWED. This means physical, verbal, or emotional abuse. Talk with him that you know that he loves you and explain how it makes you feel when he us critical, short, or grabs you. Let him know that it will never be tolerated! [/QUOTE]
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