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relinquishment woes
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 200754" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>Oh Change! This makes me cry with you. Your daughter lost her sense of security. She doesn't feel safe. Even though her brother is gone, the world is full of hidden dangers for her. She may say she now feels safe but when something that horrible happens, you relive it over and over. Like someone in a horrid car accident, even though they know the changes of that happening again is very rare, they are still skittish in being in a vehicle. </p><p> </p><p>Are you still living at the location where this happened? Too many daily memories for her?</p><p> </p><p>I also understand that while you know deep in your heart that you have done the right thing with your son following this event, he is still a part of you. You can know that he is where he needs to be and yet mourn that loss also.</p><p> </p><p>Do all of you, daughter, husband and yourself, get individual and group therapy?</p><p>You are helping so much in removing the danger from your daughter's life. It will still take many years for her to trust again and to truly feel safe.</p><p> </p><p>I am glad you have this board to write to. It is so hard to put on the happy face to the public yet be crying so hard inside. You need to let it out somewhere and this is a good place.</p><p> </p><p>Is your daughter ready for self defense classes? How about karate - something to give her power to know how to watch for dangers and that she can do the right steps to protect herself. </p><p> </p><p>She is at a hard age where kids really do get the meanest. Is she in 7th or 8th grade? I have found that 7th & 8th graders can get very mean and those who are not mean just get into harmless mischief. As individuals, they are awesome kids but get them in a group and watch out! It is like they are trying to impress each other. It is hard enough going through that as a easy child - it is when difficult children really do start noticing the challenges they have and others may not.</p><p> </p><p>I will pray for your entire family.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 200754, member: 5096"] Oh Change! This makes me cry with you. Your daughter lost her sense of security. She doesn't feel safe. Even though her brother is gone, the world is full of hidden dangers for her. She may say she now feels safe but when something that horrible happens, you relive it over and over. Like someone in a horrid car accident, even though they know the changes of that happening again is very rare, they are still skittish in being in a vehicle. Are you still living at the location where this happened? Too many daily memories for her? I also understand that while you know deep in your heart that you have done the right thing with your son following this event, he is still a part of you. You can know that he is where he needs to be and yet mourn that loss also. Do all of you, daughter, husband and yourself, get individual and group therapy? You are helping so much in removing the danger from your daughter's life. It will still take many years for her to trust again and to truly feel safe. I am glad you have this board to write to. It is so hard to put on the happy face to the public yet be crying so hard inside. You need to let it out somewhere and this is a good place. Is your daughter ready for self defense classes? How about karate - something to give her power to know how to watch for dangers and that she can do the right steps to protect herself. She is at a hard age where kids really do get the meanest. Is she in 7th or 8th grade? I have found that 7th & 8th graders can get very mean and those who are not mean just get into harmless mischief. As individuals, they are awesome kids but get them in a group and watch out! It is like they are trying to impress each other. It is hard enough going through that as a easy child - it is when difficult children really do start noticing the challenges they have and others may not. I will pray for your entire family. [/QUOTE]
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