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<blockquote data-quote="Shelwith1L" data-source="post: 744198" data-attributes="member: 23120"><p>The holidays are going to be difficult for me this year. I haven't heard from my son in weeks. Not knowing his whereabouts, not knowing if he's dead or alive has taken it's toll on me on more than one occasion. When one day late week I received a call from a restricted number. I did not pick up the call. No message was left. I suspected the call was from my son, (he uses other people's phones) so I had to prepare myself for the next restricted call that may come within the next couple of days. Sure enough, the restricted call came. If I've learned one thing, it's not to pick up those calls right away. I try to prepare myself first. It was my son. Although it was great to hear his voice, I also know he only calls when he wants something. Sure enough, he was asking if I was going to buy him anything for Christmas and his birthday. He specifically asked for a phone. He will be 34 the day after Christmas. He also was inquiring if he could come to the house on Christmas Day. He was high when he called and didn't deny it when I confronted him. He was informed that I wasn't buying him anything for Christmas or his birthday. I offered to take him to lunch. He seemed surprised. I changed the subject rather quickly since I could feel myself weakening during the conversation. The conversation was short and I was not very sympathetic. I really didn't even feel as if I was talking to my son anymore. For the first time, it was as if I was talking to a stranger. It's the same conversation; I tell him I love him and I want to see him get into rehab and start down the road to recovery. If he calls again, I have to decide whether to take the call or not. He is not welcome in my home while he is actively using. I don't want the drugs in my home or the possibility of him overdosing in my home. He also has active warrants for his arrest for failure to appear in court. There is no doubt that I'm struggling with this decision. This will be the first Christmas without him (including his birthday). I don't want to feel guilty about my decision. I had a meltdown yesterday. It's been a long time since I've cried that hard. I guess I needed it. Today is a better day. </p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/imok.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":imok:" title="I'm ok :imok:" data-shortname=":imok:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Shelwith1L, post: 744198, member: 23120"] The holidays are going to be difficult for me this year. I haven't heard from my son in weeks. Not knowing his whereabouts, not knowing if he's dead or alive has taken it's toll on me on more than one occasion. When one day late week I received a call from a restricted number. I did not pick up the call. No message was left. I suspected the call was from my son, (he uses other people's phones) so I had to prepare myself for the next restricted call that may come within the next couple of days. Sure enough, the restricted call came. If I've learned one thing, it's not to pick up those calls right away. I try to prepare myself first. It was my son. Although it was great to hear his voice, I also know he only calls when he wants something. Sure enough, he was asking if I was going to buy him anything for Christmas and his birthday. He specifically asked for a phone. He will be 34 the day after Christmas. He also was inquiring if he could come to the house on Christmas Day. He was high when he called and didn't deny it when I confronted him. He was informed that I wasn't buying him anything for Christmas or his birthday. I offered to take him to lunch. He seemed surprised. I changed the subject rather quickly since I could feel myself weakening during the conversation. The conversation was short and I was not very sympathetic. I really didn't even feel as if I was talking to my son anymore. For the first time, it was as if I was talking to a stranger. It's the same conversation; I tell him I love him and I want to see him get into rehab and start down the road to recovery. If he calls again, I have to decide whether to take the call or not. He is not welcome in my home while he is actively using. I don't want the drugs in my home or the possibility of him overdosing in my home. He also has active warrants for his arrest for failure to appear in court. There is no doubt that I'm struggling with this decision. This will be the first Christmas without him (including his birthday). I don't want to feel guilty about my decision. I had a meltdown yesterday. It's been a long time since I've cried that hard. I guess I needed it. Today is a better day. :imok: [/QUOTE]
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