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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 710575" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Well, this is what happens to me. As the years go by it is worse:</p><p>Sometimes I think I made a crucial misstep when I let him come home from Job Corps 10 years ago. I cannot say I did for sure because who knows what would have been down the road not traveled. But for sure this road has been littered with dead bodies--mine.</p><p>Are you rejecting out of hand the idea of Job Corps? It seems to me that your plan while appealing rewards him for being impossible, and takes away the necessity that I see in life which is to be productive, get along with other people and regulate one's emotions to the extent that one can do so.</p><p></p><p>I would consider Job Corps and I would consider trying to get him to some dual diagnosis residential treatment program, that deals with mentally ill people who are substance abusers. If he can get into one that is community-based he could transition to satellite housing. They would help him apply for SSI, and subsidized housing down the road.</p><p></p><p>The thing is he may well be able to work. That is why I mention Job Corps and Voc Rehab. My son went to college more than a year, and he worked steadily for 15 months. While I can see that his symptoms may have worsened, I also see that he very much likes doing nothing, having no responsibilities, and devoting his life to pot use. Of course these things are consistent with mental illness, but they do not preclude work or goals of some sort.</p><p></p><p>That is what I would fear if you pay rent to get him out of the house. It may set things up that he is your dependent and that there are not expectations for him, and that he should not have them for himself. I have gone down the long road of conditions and expectations, of which I am the Queen. They do not work.</p><p></p><p>Take care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 710575, member: 18958"] Well, this is what happens to me. As the years go by it is worse: Sometimes I think I made a crucial misstep when I let him come home from Job Corps 10 years ago. I cannot say I did for sure because who knows what would have been down the road not traveled. But for sure this road has been littered with dead bodies--mine. Are you rejecting out of hand the idea of Job Corps? It seems to me that your plan while appealing rewards him for being impossible, and takes away the necessity that I see in life which is to be productive, get along with other people and regulate one's emotions to the extent that one can do so. I would consider Job Corps and I would consider trying to get him to some dual diagnosis residential treatment program, that deals with mentally ill people who are substance abusers. If he can get into one that is community-based he could transition to satellite housing. They would help him apply for SSI, and subsidized housing down the road. The thing is he may well be able to work. That is why I mention Job Corps and Voc Rehab. My son went to college more than a year, and he worked steadily for 15 months. While I can see that his symptoms may have worsened, I also see that he very much likes doing nothing, having no responsibilities, and devoting his life to pot use. Of course these things are consistent with mental illness, but they do not preclude work or goals of some sort. That is what I would fear if you pay rent to get him out of the house. It may set things up that he is your dependent and that there are not expectations for him, and that he should not have them for himself. I have gone down the long road of conditions and expectations, of which I am the Queen. They do not work. Take care. [/QUOTE]
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