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Reposting from "Family of Origin"
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<blockquote data-quote="TheWalrus" data-source="post: 680949" data-attributes="member: 19905"><p>I agree you should find out the entire story on bio-mom. I have seen over and over, and had this happen personally, where the absentee parent will make promises and dangle the carrot of coming back into their kids' lives and then never follow through. It is sad, and it just keeps kids stunted in this never-ending limbo. They cannot help but idolize the bio-parent and hope "this time" their parent will come into their lives again. Many times these kids don't even really know their missing parent and have this fantasy of an ideal relationship with them. They seem "perfect" - bc you can't make mistakes if you aren't around - so that is who they want to be with. And these poor kids stay on this rollercoaster of raised hopes that end in the rug pulled out from under them over and over again. Just because DGD "says" this is what bio-mom is promising, and perhaps she even is, that doesn't mean bio-mom will actually follow through. And what is so often maddening and unfair is how these absentee parents keep these already struggling and damaged kids from moving forward with their "today I feel like being a parent, tomorrow I won't" games. Just a thought...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TheWalrus, post: 680949, member: 19905"] I agree you should find out the entire story on bio-mom. I have seen over and over, and had this happen personally, where the absentee parent will make promises and dangle the carrot of coming back into their kids' lives and then never follow through. It is sad, and it just keeps kids stunted in this never-ending limbo. They cannot help but idolize the bio-parent and hope "this time" their parent will come into their lives again. Many times these kids don't even really know their missing parent and have this fantasy of an ideal relationship with them. They seem "perfect" - bc you can't make mistakes if you aren't around - so that is who they want to be with. And these poor kids stay on this rollercoaster of raised hopes that end in the rug pulled out from under them over and over again. Just because DGD "says" this is what bio-mom is promising, and perhaps she even is, that doesn't mean bio-mom will actually follow through. And what is so often maddening and unfair is how these absentee parents keep these already struggling and damaged kids from moving forward with their "today I feel like being a parent, tomorrow I won't" games. Just a thought... [/QUOTE]
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