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<blockquote data-quote="beyondthecliff" data-source="post: 737325" data-attributes="member: 22982"><p>Hi - Well, we had an extensive psychiatric evaluation. The guy was amazing - very thorough, kind, patient, non-judgmental. He spent well over the allotted time with us, for which I was immensely grateful. He went over all her history, medical, physical, medications, previous therapies, everything. And, as I have suspected for at least 5-6 years, she was diagnosed as borderline. I have been saying to every previous therapist and medical person we have come into contact with that I suspect this (not in front of my daughter), but I was dismissed because of her age (she was under 18). Furthermore, she is atypical, because she is considered a "quiet borderline", meaning that she doesn't display the more usual symptoms of outward anger and "drama". Instead, she turns it all inwards.</p><p></p><p>I am relieved to have a diagnoses, and I am obviously sad that she has been struggling for so long, as have we, with this pervasive and difficult disorder. We will be getting her enrolled in intensive DBT which is specific for Borderline (BPD). Additionally, her very hard to treat depression (no medication has worked over the past 5-6 years) will be tackled with a lesser prescribed anti-depressant, so I have hope, which is something that has been missing from our lives for a long time.</p><p></p><p>I tracked back her recent decline into prescription drug abuse, and it coincides (not surprisingly now I think about it) with the fact that we were strongly encouraging her to take the first steps to independence and get a job. She did, reluctantly, get a job but of course completely sabotaged it with her drug abuse and chaotic behavior. Now that her job has essentially drifted away to nothing, she appears to be not using.</p><p></p><p>Yes, she went through an awful week of withdrawal, but since then she has been home and hasn't used. I'm not naïve enough to think it isn't still a threat to her (and us), but she has been educated extensively regarding the interaction with her new medication, and she appears to be on board with everything. Fingers crossed.</p><p></p><p>I guess at this stage we have to learn how to parent her effectively. Or rather than *parent*, how to best guide her into true adulthood and independence, because one of the defining features for her is that she has absolutely no sense of who she is......no goals, no direction, nothing. It's a tough walk to take because we don't want to baby her and allow her to drift into a future of nothing, but on the other hand she is utterly incapable of living independently due to her reckless decisions and inability to function as a mature adult.</p><p></p><p>I plan to buy every book I can get my hands on (some have been suggested here...thank you!) to help us better learn how to manage our own lives and to take back some sanity and sense of control in the family. One of my biggest issues right now is that I cannot trust her to be left alone, which greatly restricts her dad and I from doing things such as date-night or going away for the weekends etc.</p><p></p><p>Thank you!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="beyondthecliff, post: 737325, member: 22982"] Hi - Well, we had an extensive psychiatric evaluation. The guy was amazing - very thorough, kind, patient, non-judgmental. He spent well over the allotted time with us, for which I was immensely grateful. He went over all her history, medical, physical, medications, previous therapies, everything. And, as I have suspected for at least 5-6 years, she was diagnosed as borderline. I have been saying to every previous therapist and medical person we have come into contact with that I suspect this (not in front of my daughter), but I was dismissed because of her age (she was under 18). Furthermore, she is atypical, because she is considered a "quiet borderline", meaning that she doesn't display the more usual symptoms of outward anger and "drama". Instead, she turns it all inwards. I am relieved to have a diagnoses, and I am obviously sad that she has been struggling for so long, as have we, with this pervasive and difficult disorder. We will be getting her enrolled in intensive DBT which is specific for Borderline (BPD). Additionally, her very hard to treat depression (no medication has worked over the past 5-6 years) will be tackled with a lesser prescribed anti-depressant, so I have hope, which is something that has been missing from our lives for a long time. I tracked back her recent decline into prescription drug abuse, and it coincides (not surprisingly now I think about it) with the fact that we were strongly encouraging her to take the first steps to independence and get a job. She did, reluctantly, get a job but of course completely sabotaged it with her drug abuse and chaotic behavior. Now that her job has essentially drifted away to nothing, she appears to be not using. Yes, she went through an awful week of withdrawal, but since then she has been home and hasn't used. I'm not naïve enough to think it isn't still a threat to her (and us), but she has been educated extensively regarding the interaction with her new medication, and she appears to be on board with everything. Fingers crossed. I guess at this stage we have to learn how to parent her effectively. Or rather than *parent*, how to best guide her into true adulthood and independence, because one of the defining features for her is that she has absolutely no sense of who she is......no goals, no direction, nothing. It's a tough walk to take because we don't want to baby her and allow her to drift into a future of nothing, but on the other hand she is utterly incapable of living independently due to her reckless decisions and inability to function as a mature adult. I plan to buy every book I can get my hands on (some have been suggested here...thank you!) to help us better learn how to manage our own lives and to take back some sanity and sense of control in the family. One of my biggest issues right now is that I cannot trust her to be left alone, which greatly restricts her dad and I from doing things such as date-night or going away for the weekends etc. Thank you! [/QUOTE]
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