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The Watercooler
response from my mother
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 288020" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>From having a very abusive family on all fronts, I learned a few things. My suggestion is to ignore the abusive part of the letter and not even bother to defend yourself. If you do, they adds fuel to their fire. If you choose to communicate with her at all, do it in a concrete, clinical way. </p><p></p><p>"I will pass along your letters within the rules of the Residential Treatment Center (RTC)."</p><p></p><p>I don't think you should ever tell her to get help. She won't and will take it to be some sort of insult. I told my mom to get help too and she'd say, "Just because you love psychiatrists and labels doesn't mean we all do." Okie. I never told her again. She is what she is and she doesn't sound like she wants to change either herself or her relationship with you so I'd make any correspondence with her short and sweet and non-emotional. That worked best for me, at least. Sorry you have to put up with this. I know how bad it feels and how, no matter how old you get, we all want our moms to approve of us. The best day of my life was when I finally got somse good advice and stopped caring what she thought of me. She took her anger to her grave. (((Hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 288020, member: 1550"] From having a very abusive family on all fronts, I learned a few things. My suggestion is to ignore the abusive part of the letter and not even bother to defend yourself. If you do, they adds fuel to their fire. If you choose to communicate with her at all, do it in a concrete, clinical way. "I will pass along your letters within the rules of the Residential Treatment Center (RTC)." I don't think you should ever tell her to get help. She won't and will take it to be some sort of insult. I told my mom to get help too and she'd say, "Just because you love psychiatrists and labels doesn't mean we all do." Okie. I never told her again. She is what she is and she doesn't sound like she wants to change either herself or her relationship with you so I'd make any correspondence with her short and sweet and non-emotional. That worked best for me, at least. Sorry you have to put up with this. I know how bad it feels and how, no matter how old you get, we all want our moms to approve of us. The best day of my life was when I finally got somse good advice and stopped caring what she thought of me. She took her anger to her grave. (((Hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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